Come Away With Me
by Joe's girl
Summary: The story begins in the late afternoon on Day 4. Will Michelle and Tony rekindle their romance or is Michelle's future in the arms of another? Warning: season 4 spoilers included. Thanks to Norah Jones for inspiring the title.
1. Chapter 1

_Here I am back again with another story. I'm probably way too hung up with the lives of the 24 characters and should consider professional help!_

_This story picks up in the late afternoon on Day 4. It begins to deviate from the storyline on the show as of about 2 or 2:30 pm._

_All of the usual disclaimer stuff applies: Fox owns the characters, I don't and if I did I wouldn't spend my time writing fanfiction! The title isn't original either. That belongs to Norah Jones. (My understanding is that we can no longer include lyrics of songs that inspire our titles. If you want to know the lyrics I'm sure you can find them on line.)_

_So, if you've got a few spare minutes, please read. If you read, do me a favor and review. So I know if this is worth continuing._

**COME AWAY WITH ME (Title inspired by the Norah Jones song.)**

Chapter 1:

"Ms. Dessler, I have Jack Bauer on line three."

Michelle was going through a file of fresh intel that appeared to be totally useless. If they didn't find the override and shut down the reactors in the next hour, the rest of the reactors were going to go critical. CTU had had so many successes in the past, but she was afraid that their record was going to end here, on her watch.

She knew the situation was bleak an hour ago when Erin Driscoll had been relieved of her duties as CTU director because of her involvement with Marianne Taylor and her further attempts to cover that up. Michelle had been named acting director, a job she had never wanted. She had watched that job destroy too many lives: Jack, George, Tony. If you wanted to get technical about it, the job had destroyed her life, too at the same time it destroyed Tony's.

CTU lost track of Jack over two hours ago. He and other agents from CTU had raided a hotel room where they found Dina Araz holed up. Araz was persuaded to take Jack to her son who was at a nearby hospital trying to procure pain relievers for her. Picking up the 17 year old looked easy enough. Jack had plenty of back up and the kid wasn't armed. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned and CTU was ambushed at the hospital.

Two tactical units were sent in to help but arrived too late. All of the CTU agents who went in with Jack were dead, as was Araz's son. Jack and his vehicle were both missing and so was Dina Araz.

"Thank goodness!" Michelle said relieved to hear that Jack had finally called in. "'Three' is a secure line, Molly. Why is he on 'three'?" Michelle asked.

"He requested a secure line, ma'am."

"That's fine, Molly. Put him through." Michelle waited until she heard the line click open. "Jesus Christ, Jack! Where the hell have you been?"

Jack ignored her question. "We've got the override, Michelle, and we're on our way back. Our ETA is about 20 minutes."

"Good work! Where have you been for the last two hours? Why did you go dark? We didn't know if you were dead or alive. We lost Dina Araz during the shootout at the hospital. Is she with you?"

"I'm sorry, Michelle. I couldn't call in. After we were ambushed at the hospital, I was pretty sure that Marianne Taylor wasn't the only mole at CTU. That's why I asked for a secure line. I've got Dina Araz. I'll give you all of the details in my debrief, but she finally agreed to give up the names of some of the higher ups in their organization. That eventually led us to the override."

"How did you persuade Araz to give you those names?" Michelle asked not really sure if she wanted to know Jack's methods. Jack had been trained in Special Forces and he knew modes of torture that Michelle probably didn't want to hear about.

"Let's just say that pain is a big motivator even when you believe in your cause."

"Is she still alive?" Michelle asked almost afraid to hear the answer.

"Yes, but she'll need medical attention. That gun shot wound courtesy of her husband still needs to be treated and she's lost a lot of blood." Jack didn't want to talk about Dina Araz right now. As far as he was concerned, she was less than human and he had been nicer to her than he should have been. When she begged him to kill her earlier, he would have happily done it but she had information he needed and he intended to get it out of her.

"Michelle, do you have the programmers for the override there at CTU."

"Yes, Jack, they got here about 45 minutes ago. We're set up in Tech 1. As soon as you get here, they'll go to work on it. They both think they can halt the meltdowns without much trouble. They said there are several possible sequences that should work. They're very optimistic."

"Good," Jack said. "We'll be there as soon as we can."

"Jack, why do you keep saying 'we'? Who is with you? I thought you were alone."

Jack exhaled slowly. "Michelle, Tony is with me."

Michelle was silent for a moment. "Tony? Tony Almeida?"

"Yes"

"Is he sober?" she asked with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer, Michelle. This is a matter of national security. I wouldn't have him here if he weren't fit for duty, you know that."

"What is Tony doing with you, Jack?"

"I thought you knew that he saved Audrey and me when we were at Fellsted Security."

"Yes, but Audrey told us that Tony asked you to finish what you were doing and get out. I was going to have him brought in tomorrow morning to debrief. I would have brought him in this afternoon, but we were busy and I didn't think I would find him sober in the middle of the afternoon. I figured my best bet was to wait until early morning before he could start drinking."

"Well, you can debrief both of us when we get to CTU." Jack's phone beeped to tell him that the battery was low. "Look, Michelle, I'm going to hang up. The battery in my cell is getting low. Our ETA is under 15 minutes. Don't tell anyone that we have the override until we get there. We still don't know if there is another mole inside. Do me a favor and let Audrey know that I'm alright. I'm sure she's worried."

"Audrey's in medical. She was pretty upset earlier so Dr. Copeland gave her a mild sedative. If she's awake, I'll tell her personally. I know she'll be relieved," Michelle told him.

"Thank you, Michelle"

"I'll see you soon, Jack," Michelle said. She hung up from Jack's call and dialed Chloe's station. "Chloe, arrange to have two debriefing rooms set up."

"Who are we debriefing?" Chloe asked.

"Jack and Tony are on their way in. They both need to be debriefed. I want it done separately."

"Tony? Your Tony?"

"Yes, Chloe. Tony Almeida."

"Who do you want to do the debriefs? I mean, do you want to debrief Tony yourself?"

"No, I've got more important things to do today than a debrief. Find someone to do it."

Of all the complications that Michelle didn't need today, Tony was on the top of her list. Just when she was putting her life back together, Jack was going to waltz into CTU with Tony and it was going to start all over again.

When Tony got home from prison ten months earlier, Michelle thought the nightmare was over and their wonderful life together would become a reality again. Unfortunately, she was wrong. Tony came home from prison bitter and mad at the world. She understood why he was angry, but thought he should be able to put it behind him. They were together again and to her, that was all that mattered. Snuggling up against him at night and eating dinner with him when she got home from work made her forget the months they had spent apart. For Tony, they were a reminder of all that he had missed.

He was home a couple of weeks before he started looking for a job. He was excited about it at first but soon realized that every potential employer knew his history. His trial had been covered by CourtTV and was the lead story on every newscast for two weeks. His pardon by President Palmer had been controversial and Palmer had been roundly criticized for it. No traitor had ever been pardoned and many thought Palmer had set a dangerous precedent.

After the first few rejections, Tony's bitterness increased. He started drinking. At first, Michelle didn't think it was a problem. She would come home and find him fixing dinner with a beer or a mixed drink in his hand. He would have another for dinner and a couple more through the evening. She told herself that it was helping him to relax. Soon she knew that it was more than that. By the time she got home, Tony would be clearly intoxicated and sometimes passed out on the sofa. If he wasn't asleep, he was angry and withdrawn and would barely talk to her. When she asked him to get help, he refused. She put up with it for a while, hoping that it was a passing phase. Finding that ignoring it didn't work, she became confrontational and argued with him about his drinking. That resulted in him leaving the house to drink. He would be gone 15 or 16 hours at a time without contacting her. He came home to sleep off the after effects during the day while Michelle was at work.

The situation finally became unbearable and Michelle asked Tony to leave. She knew that he still loved her and hoped that such a drastic measure would shock him back into reality. Instead, he surprised her by packing his things and leaving. She watched in stunned silence as he walked out the door without saying goodbye.

It was months before thoughts of Tony stopped plaguing her every moment she was awake. She had finally started to get him out of her system and now he was back again.

Jack ended his call to Michelle and put his phone in his pocket. Dina Araz was in the back seat moaning quietly.

"We'll be at CTU in a few minutes, Mrs. Araz. They'll be able to get you something for the pain," he said then looked at Tony. "CTU is all set up and waiting for the override. The programmers are in place."

"Good," Tony said his eyes scanning the road and the rearview mirror as he drove. "I take it Michelle was there."

"Yes, she's acting director. Erin Driscoll was relieved of her command."

Tony raised his had to his mouth to suppress a cough. "Let me guess, Michelle made some wisecrack about my drinking."

Jack looked down embarrassed, not wanting to be in the middle of Tony and Michelle's domestic squabble. "Look, Tony, you know you've been drinking too much. That's one of the reasons Michelle left in the first place."

"Yeah, well I don't have a lot to fill my day. Drinking takes up some of the time and if I'm lucky, when I'm not drinking, I can sleep it off."

"Tony, I know you don't believe me, but I've been there. I've been at the bottom…"

"No, Jack, you and I have been to different places. You lost your wife when she was murdered. I lost my wife after I saved her life and went to prison for it and she left me when I needed her most."

"You had a funny way of showing her that you needed her, Tony. You pushed her and everyone else away. You wouldn't let any of your friends or family help you. I know you're bitter about those months in prison and I don't blame you, but you have to put it behind you and start over," Jack paused and allowed his tone to soften. "Okay, I'll admit our stories are different. But we both ended up hitting rock bottom. And the bottom line is that I needed to reconcile with Kim and you need to reconcile with Michelle. I found a way to do that. I'm not going to tell you it was easy, but I stopped drifting and went back to work and made peace with Kim. You need to do the same thing."

"You make it sound so easy. I seem to remember you had a little foray with heroin in there, too." He was going to say more but started coughing again and couldn't finish before Jack spoke.

"I don't deny that and I didn't say it was easy. The heroin destroyed my relationship with Kate. When I finally got clean again, she had moved on and I lost her forever. I regret that; I loved Kate. Don't let that happen, Tony. If you don't clean up your act soon, Michelle is going to move on and then you won't ever have a chance to get her back."

Tony tried to concentrate on the road. He knew that Jack was staring at him but he didn't look in Jack's direction.

"Tony, I can help you find a job. If you get a job and do something useful with your time, you won't need to drink any more. If you stop drinking, Michelle is going to take you back. She loves you as much as you love her. Think about it, Tony. Let me help you."

Tony said nothing. He stared at the road in front of him. He took the next left knowing that CTU was only blocks away and Michelle would be there when he got there.

While she waited for Jack and Tony to arrive, Michelle decided to walk back to medical and talk to Audrey Raines. As she made her way back there, she passed the conference room where Secretary of Defense Heller was helping to direct the emergency response by the National Guard and the local authorities. Michelle stepped into the room.

"Secretary Heller," Michelle said.

"Yes, Michelle," he answered.

"I thought you might like to know that I just talked to Jack Bauer. He's fine and he's on his way here. He should be here in about 15 minutes."

"Where has he been? Why haven't we heard from him until now?"

"He wouldn't say where he's been. He said he'll give us all of the details when we debrief him. Like all of us, he's concerned with security. He feels that CTU is still compromised." Michelle left out the fact that Jack had the override. She wasn't sure whether the mole was a CTU employee or someone working with Secretary Heller. "He asked me to tell your daughter that he's okay. He doesn't want her to have to worry."

"I went back to see her a few minutes ago. She's awake now and a lot calmer. I can go back and tell her."

"No, that's okay. I'll tell her. I have to go back toward medical anyway." The statement was true enough. Michelle wanted to tell the medical director that Dina Araz was on her way in and in need to medical care, but she could have done that over the phone. She wanted to talk to Audrey Raines herself. She wanted to see what Audrey's take on Tony was. Jack was hardly objective on the subject of Tony. Michelle knew that Jack felt guilty about getting Tony involved in the whole plot to buy the virus. Consequently, he felt guilty about Tony going to prison and this whole downward spiral that Tony had allowed to occur.

She stepped into medical and waved to Dr. Copeland who was talking to one of the nurses.

"Hey, Michelle," he said as he walked toward her. "What brings you back to medical?"

"Hi, Lenny. Two reasons, there's a prisoner on the way in with a gunshot wound. I need to make sure you're set up to take care of her. The ETA is about 10 minutes.

"Not a problem, I'll get the trauma room set up. What was your second reason?"

"I wanted to talk to Audrey Raines, if I could."

"She's back in room 5. She's much better now. She's a little sleepy, but she can carry on a conversation. Go ahead and see her."

"Thanks, Len."

Michelle knocked on the door to room 5.

"Come in." She heard from behind the closed door.

"Mrs. Raines," she said extending her hand. "I'm Michelle Dessler, acting Director of CTU."

Audrey immediately recognized the name. She knew this was Tony's wife, but she thought Michelle was working at Division.

"Acting Director? What happened to Erin Driscoll?"

"Erin's been relieved of her command. I was asked to step into the role for the time being."

"It's nice to meet you," Audrey said.

"I just spoke with Jack and he wanted you to know that he's okay and he's on his way here right now."

"Oh, what a relief!" Audrey exclaimed. "I was so worried about him. Thank you for telling me. Did he find the override? He was going after that man who he thought could lead him to the override."

"That information is all on a 'need to know' basis right now, Mrs. Raines. I can't share it with you now."

"I understand," she nodded. "Please, call me Audrey."

"Audrey, I read your debrief after the incident at Fellsted Security."

"I'm sorry, it probably wasn't even coherent. I was so upset at that point I could barely talk."

"No, it was fine. I'm sorry we had to put you through that at that time. Unfortunately we needed to get all possible information. You didn't say how Jack got in touch with Tony Almeida."

"Jack called him. He had the number programmed in his cell phone. He said Tony was the only person he could trust."

"When you were with Tony, did he appear to you to be fit for duty?"

Audrey smiled and looked away for a second. "Ms. Dessler…" she said as she made eye contact.

"Michelle," she corrected her.

"Ok, Michelle. I know that you're married to Tony Almeida, so if this is some kind of game where you are looking for me to provide you with some ammunition to use against him, I won't be a part of it."

"It's no game, Audrey. I'm trying to determine if Tony was fit to be working with Jack because apparently after you left Tony's house, Tony and Jack went into the field together. Tony has been acting as a field agent for the last few hours and I need to know what condition he was in when you last saw him."

"If you are asking whether or not he was drunk, the answer is no. Michelle, right now, Tony Almeida is just a notch below Jack on my list of knights in shining armor. He saved Jack's and my lives a few hours ago. I have nothing bad to say about him."

"You told Dr. Copeland that you had a beer while you were at his house. Is that true?"

"Yes, that's true. He offered and I accepted. I'm over 21, I'm allowed to drink a beer when I want one. At that moment I was hoping that it would relax me a little bit."

"Were Jack and Tony drinking?"

"Jack declined, but I think Tony had one beer while I was there. He wasn't drunk by any stretch of the imagination."

There was a knock at the door and Dr. Copeland put his head in. "Michelle, Chloe just called, Jack and Tony are here. The prisoner is being brought to medical."

"Thanks, Len," she said then turned back to Audrey. "I'll send Jack back to see you as soon as possible."

"Thank you," Audrey said as Michelle turned to leave. "Michelle," she called after her. "This is none of my business and, God knows, I've made a shambles out of my own marriage, but for what it's worth, I don't think it would take all that much to straighten Tony's life out. He genuinely loves you and misses you. He knows that he's reached the bottom and I think if someone gave him a hand, he might be ready to come back out into the sunshine." Audrey shrugged. "That's just my opinion."

"Thanks," Michelle said nodding. "I'll keep that in mind."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Michelle was making her way out of medical as Dina Araz was being brought in. She was surprised by the woman's appearance. She had briefly read Araz's file which was hastily put together after she was identified at the hotel. The Araz's house was searched and among the items that the advance team brought back to CTU were a couple of framed photographs of the Araz family. Dina Araz was an attractive woman with thick wavy black hair and a charming smile. As she stood in front of Michelle, she looked old and sick and broken. She was pale from blood loss and it appeared that if the guards stationed on either side of her let go, she would drop to the floor like a rag doll.

"Ms. Dessler," said one of the armed CTU guards escorting Araz, "should I set up an interrogation room so we're ready when they're finished with her in medical?"

Michelle looked at Dr. Copeland. "What do you think, Len? Is she going to be medically ready for interrogation any time soon?"

Copeland shook his head. "I'm going to need at least a couple of hours and that's being optimistic. Unless there's more info you think you need immediately, I'd like to treat her first."

"Jack seems to think he got almost everything valuable from her already. Treat her now and I'll talk to Jack. If we need to talk to her again, we'll just have to do it in medical." Michelle said.

Copeland frowned, "Michelle…"

"Look, Len, I know you don't like us interrogating prisoners in medical, but this is an extraordinary circumstance. I'll only do it if I have to, you know that."

"Okay, for now I'll get her back to trauma and treat her." Michelle agreed with the doctor and left the medical unit.

Jack and Tony stood just inside the door in Tech 1 talking to Secretary Heller. The programmers had already started working on the override and Chloe was on her way in to help them. Michelle stepped into the room. She saw Jack first.

"Jack!" she said as she gave him a hug and a kiss. She and Jack had been friends for years and she hadn't seen him in several months, so the greeting was not unusual. "I can't believe you recovered the override. You're amazing!" She turned and saw Tony standing with Secretary Heller.

"Tony," she said quietly. "How are you?" He looked thinner and paler than she remembered him. That shouldn't be a surprise, she thought. His steady diet of alcohol didn't provide much in the way of nutrition and she suspected that he wasn't exactly spending any time in the sun playing golf or tennis like he had in the past.

"I'm okay, Michelle," he answered awkwardly. "How are you?"

"Better since you and Jack found the override." She paused for a moment. "Well, unless they need you in here, you can both relax for a few minutes and then be debriefed."

"I don't think they need us, do you Chloe?" Jack asked.

"No, we've go it under control," Chloe answered absently. She was already involved with the programmers working on the override.

"Okay, then," Michelle said. "Do either of you need to be seen in medical? Len Copeland is working on Dina Araz, but if either of you needs attention, he'll make sure you get it."

Jack and Tony both declined medical care. Although both of them had various cuts and bruises, neither was badly hurt.

"In that case," Michelle started, "Jack, Ben Schwartz will debrief you in Comm 1. If you want to take a few minutes and talk to Audrey first, you can go back to medical. Just stop by Comm 1 and let Ben know."

"Thanks, Michelle. I think I'll do that. I just want to make sure Audrey knows that I'm alright." Jack walked toward medical.

"Tony, Ted Everett is going to debrief you."

Tony nodded. "In Comm 2? I'll head over there." Tony started toward the familiar location.

"Not exactly," Michelle said.

Tony stopped and looked back at her. "In the conference room?"

"No, Secretary Heller's people are in there."

"Where would you like to debrief me, Michelle, in the staff lounge?"

"I had Ted set up in Holding Room 1."

"You're putting me in a Holding Room, Michelle?" Tony said incredulously. "I served my time, Michelle. I got a pardon, remember? I saved Jack and Audrey this afternoon. Hell, I risked my life today and you're putting me in a holding room!"

"Tony, look at it from my point of view. You're a civilian. You acted as a field agent today without anyone's permission."

"I had Jack's permission. I wouldn't have shown up if Jack hadn't called me. And if I hadn't shown up when I did, Jack and Audrey would have come back to CTU in body bags. Ask Secretary Heller if he's okay with my being here right now."

"I understand all of that, Tony, but it doesn't change the circumstances."

"Do you plan to arrest me?"

"No, of course not. I just need a place to debrief you and it has to be a secure location. Like I said, you're a civilian and I can't have you walking around here. Tony, this is standard operating procedure, you know that. You wouldn't have handled the situation any differently when you were in charge. Don't fight me on this, Tony, please. Let's just get the debrief over with and you can go home."

Tony threw up his hands. "Fine. I'll debrief in a Holding Room and then go home. I had hoped that you might appreciate what I did today."

"I do appreciate it, Tony." Michelle said softly. "More importantly, Secretary Heller appreciates it and you saved countless lives. You were a hero today. I'm proud of you, Tony. Right now I'm looking at the Tony Almeida that I fell in love with."

Tony stopped walking and swallowed hard. "Thank you. I'm sorry I got so upset. You're right, putting me in Holding is standard operating procedure and you're right to do it."

Michelle and Tony walked to the Holding room without saying anything more. The silence was only broken when Tony coughed.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked him. "I mean, are you hungry or anything?"

"I could use some water," he told her as he tried to clear his throat.

"That's a nasty cough. Are you taking anything for it?"

"No, I had a cold a couple of months ago and haven't been able to shake it. Maybe I need to take better care of myself."

"Maybe you should see a doctor."

"Gee, I'd do that Michelle, but my current medical plan doesn't cover doctor visits," he said sarcastically.

"If you need care, Tony, I'll make sure you get it. Before you leave, have Len Copeland see you."

"Thanks, I will."

Tony sat in the Holding room suddenly exhausted from the events of the day. Ted Everett spent the next hour debriefing him.

"Okay, Tony," Ted said as they finished. He took the tape on which he had recorded the debriefing from the tape recorder. "I'll take this out to the transcriptionist. She should have it back to you in about an hour. You can read it and sign it and you'll be finished at that point."

Ted left the room and Tony sat back to read a newspaper that was left in the room. He heard a key card slide through the card reader and glanced toward the door.

"Hey," Michelle said as she came through the door. "Ted said that you're finished debriefing."

"Yeah, we finished about 20 minutes ago," Tony told her.

"I have a couple of minutes; I thought maybe we could talk."

"Michelle, I'm sorry about going off on you earlier. I know how hard it is to be handed this job in the middle of a national emergency. I know how much stress you're under."

"Thanks, Tony, I appreciate that, but I could have handled it better. Can I sit down?"

"Of course," he said. "What did you want to talk about? I think everything you need is in the transcript of the debrief. It should be available in another half hour or so."

"I don't want to talk about the debrief. I want to talk about us."

Tony raised his eyebrows. "Us?" Tony looked at Michelle afraid of what would come next. They had been separated for five months and he suspected that she was going to file for divorce.

"Like I said a little while ago, the Tony I'm talking to right now is the one I fell in love with. If this Tony is back for good and the one that was drinking and feeling sorry for himself is gone, I'd like to try and work it out but I need some reassurances that things will be different. We can get counseling or whatever we need, but seeing you today made me realize that I've never stopped loving you. I want to start over," she paused for a second and looked down, "that is, if you want to try again, too."

Tony took her hands in his. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I've never stopped loving you and I want to make it work, too. The old Tony is back; today changed me. It made me feel useful again. I felt good about myself. When Jack called, I was just about to get a drink and spend the rest of the day lying on the couch watching television. I hesitated for a minute; I didn't want to get involved, but I knew Jack would be calling if it weren't urgent. So, I went to Fellsted Security and got them out of there. My plan was just to get them to a safe place, but the more time I spent with Jack, the more I got sucked into the operation, the more I wanted to be a part of the operation. I felt the adrenaline rush and it felt good."

Michelle was smiling. "Why don't we talk more after all of this is over? Maybe we can get dinner tomorrow night if I'm not buried in paperwork."

"Michelle, there's something you need to know," he paused. "While we were separated, there was…I, ah, I… I was with someone else."

"I know," she said in an emotionless voice.

"How do you know?"

"After you moved out, I was worried about you. I knew how much you were drinking and I didn't want you sleeping on the street somewhere. I wanted to make sure that you were okay. So a few days later, I started checking out the bars that you had been hanging out in."

"How did you know which bars I was going to? We never discussed it. I tried to keep it from you."

"You left receipts from some of them in pockets. I found them when I was doing laundry. I kept them; I'm not really sure why, but something told me that I might need them at some point. When I wanted to check on you, the receipts were the only leads I had."

"Some of those places are pretty rough. You shouldn't have been in those parts of town."

"I can take care of myself," Michelle told him. "Believe me, I was armed and I kept a low profile. I eventually found you in 'Gibby's'. You didn't see me, but I saw you leave with the waitress. I did some surveillance of the house and could tell that you lived there. I'm not angry, Tony. I was happy that you were safe, that you had some place warm to sleep."

Tony closed his eyes. "Michelle, I'm sorry. Believe me, she meant nothing to me. When I first started drinking there, while we were still together, she hit on me. Nothing happened, but when I needed a place to go, I went back there. She was interested in me and she invited me to stay with her." Tony shrugged. "She was offering a roof over my head and some physical comfort. I won't lie to you, we were intimate. I missed you so much. I wanted to convince myself that I didn't care; that it didn't matter that I didn't have you. I was angry with you and I wanted to get back at you, to prove to you that other women still found me desirable. I used her and I'm ashamed of that."

"Tony, don't beat yourself up over this. I asked you to leave. You don't owe me an apology."

The intercom on the table interrupted their conversation. "Michelle," Chloe said. "Can you come over here? We've run into a snag."

"What kind of snag, Chloe?"

"The terrorists must have reprogrammed the override. We've slowed the rate of the meltdowns, but we can't get it stopped. There's some code on this that I'd like you to look at."

"I'll be right there," Michelle told her. She stood up. "I'm sorry, we'll talk later, I promise."

Tony stood, too. "Michelle," he said as he stepped toward her. "We're going to make this work, Sweetheart. I know it. I love you, Michelle." He tilted his head down to hers and kissed her softly.

"I love you, too."

Michelle left the room and the door locked behind her. She made her way up the hall to Tech 1. Chloe and the two programmers were all hunched over the override.

"What have you got?" Michelle asked.

"Look at this sequence in the programming, Michelle. What do you make of it?"

"You're right, it's some sort of code. It's a way to keep anyone from getting in and stopping the override. How much did you slow the meltdowns?"

"All of the remaining facilities are below critical. At the current rate, the next one should hit critical in about an hour."

"Good," Michelle said. "That gives us some time." She looked at the programmers that worked for the manufacturer of the override. "Is there anyone else in your company who you think could help us with this?"

"Our lead programmer, Rachel Piper, may be able to help. Her master's thesis was about breaking programming codes."

"Let's get her in here. Contact her Chloe and have our people go and pick her up. We need her here as soon as possible. I'm going to go back down to Holding and talk to Tony. He has some experience in programming codes; he might be able to help."

Michelle went back down the hall to the Holding Room. Ted Everett was just giving Tony the transcript of his debrief to read over. "Tony, I hate to interrupt, but can you look at something in Tech 1."

"Sure, what is it?"

"I want you to look at this code. We're bringing in an expert in programming codes but in the meantime, I'd like you to look at it." Tony agreed and followed Michelle into Tech 1.

"Michelle," Chloe said as Michelle and Tony entered the room, "we got hold of Rachel Piper and I sent someone to pick her up. She'll be here in a half hour."

"Good," Michelle said. "Show Tony what you've got."

Tony sat down with Chloe and Michelle and the other programmers and stared at the monitor. They discussed the sequence for a few minutes and Tony began to tap on the keyboard. He hadn't broken the code, but had further slowed the rate of the meltdowns. He tried several other keystrokes and managed to shut down one reactor entirely. They spent the next twenty minutes trying in vain to further break down the code, but couldn't.

"Ms. Dessler," said a voice over the intercom. "Our agent that went to pick up Rachel Piper called in. They're about to drive up to the west entrance. Should I send someone out there to meet Ms. Piper?"

"I'll take care of it, Molly. Thank you." Michelle turned to Tony. "Would you go and meet her? You understand this code better than anyone. You can start explaining it while she clears security and you bring her down here."

"Sure," Tony said without hesitation. "I'll go get her."

He stood and left the room. Michelle smiled as she watched him. His gait was even and purposeful. He had a job to do and no one would put more heart into it than Tony. She was suddenly so proud of him and so full of love. She made a decision. When this was over, she was going to ask him to come home with her. She wanted him to move back into their home. She didn't want him living in that run down house with a barmaid anymore. She wanted him back.

Tony was leaving Tech 1 when Jack poked his head in the door. "Michelle, I just finished my debriefing and the tape went for transcription. I'm going to go over to medical. Audrey should be ready to leave. I'd like to take her back to the hotel. I should be back here by the time the transcript is ready. Is that okay with you?"

"That's fine, Jack. Take your time. If we need you, we'll get in touch with you."

"Thanks," Jack said as he turned to go to the medical unit.

Tony reached the west entrance of CTU and stepped out onto the driveway. A car pulled up onto the ramp and slowed to a stop. Tony opened the rear passenger side door and leaned in.

"Ms. Piper, I'm Tony Almeida. Thanks for coming in to help us." Rachel Piper stepped out of the car. "Right this way," Tony directed her.

He was just about to push the car door closed when he heard two shots ring out. He dropped to the ground and pulled Piper with him. "Stay low," he told her trying to use the car door as cover.

There was a sniper firing from a nearby rooftop. They obviously knew who Piper was and wanted her dead. Tony needed to make sure that didn't happen. He opened the passenger side front door to make sure that the driver was calling for help. As he did, he found the agent slumped across the front seat. He had been hit in the head. Tony felt for a pulse and knew immediately that the agent was dead. He grabbed the radio from the man's belt and took his gun from the holster.

"This is Almeida. We have an agent down. I'm pinned down by a sniper at the west entrance. I have a civilian with me. I need back up now!" he shouted into the radio.

"We copy, Almeida. Hold your position. We'll send a team to the west entrance."

"Ms. Piper, are you alright?" Tony asked the woman. Her eyes were wide with fear and she was shaking.

"What's going on? Who's shooting at us? Why are they shooting at us?" she asked her voice quivering.

"I'll explain when we get inside. Agents are coming to help us in a second. Just stay low, next to the car and you should be safe."

Tony was grateful to see a SWAT team arriving at the door to the west entrance. As they opened the door and began to move out Tony called to them, "Sniper at your 9 o'clock."

The agents spun to the left and opened fire. Tony and Rachel were shielded by the car, but the constant report of gunfire was unnerving, especially for Piper who had never been in this sort of situation before.

"What's happening?" she screamed nearly hysterical. "Make it stop! I have to get out of here." With that she stood and began to run for the entrance.

"Ms. Piper!" Tony shouted. "Get down!"

Tony stood and started firing to try and provide some cover so that Piper could reach the entrance. She ran unscathed through the door and fell, sobbing, into the arms of an agent.

Tony felt as if he had been pushed. He staggered backward a few steps; his chest suddenly burning, feeling like something had exploded inside of him. He knew he was falling and reached out to try and catch himself. He was aware of how cold the cement beneath him felt. The sun was bright in his eyes. He closed them to block it out. Now if he could just block out the constant sound of the gunfire. It reminded him of Somalia when he was a young marine. He was so scared back then. He wasn't scared any more. Somalia was so long ago and so far away. He had been in so many gun fights since then. He just wished the noise would stop so that he could rest. And as if in response to his wishes, the gunfire stopped. But there was more noise. He could hear voices and the shuffling of boots on the pavement.

He could hear shouting, but he couldn't make out any words. They seemed distant, muffled and distorted. He just wished they would be quiet. He wanted to sleep.

"Tony! Tony can you hear me?" one of the SWAT team members shouted at him.

He tried to speak, to tell them to be quiet, but he couldn't. Where was Michelle? He wanted Michelle. She would tell them to be quiet, to leave him alone. Come here, Michelle, he wanted to say. He wanted to see her pretty face, to say goodnight to her. He was so tired; he just wanted to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jack was talking to Lenny Copeland while he waited for Audrey to get ready to go when he heard that an officer was down. Len said a quick goodbye to Jack and ran to the trauma room to get ready. Jack stepped back so he would be out of the way when the medics came in.

Audrey had just walked out and met up with Jack as the door opened and the gurney was pushed in.

"My God, Jack!" Audrey said her hand covering her mouth. "That's Tony."

Jack closed his eyes and turned away for a second. Two of the SWAT team members helped wheel the gurney into medical. Once they were inside of the unit, they let medical unit employees take over. They stepped back for a moment and watched the gurney disappear into the trauma room.

Jack recognized one of the officers and approached him. "Where was he hit? How bad does it look?"

The officer shook his head. "It's bad, Jack. He was hit twice in the chest. He's barely breathing."

"How did it happen?"

"A sniper on the roof next door was apparently trying to take out the programming expert that they were bringing in. Tony got caught in the crossfire."

"A sniper! How did he know we were bringing in the programmer?"

"We've obviously got a mole, Jack."

"Is security locking the place down?"

"Completely, but they want to do it silently. They don't want to spook the mole. They're monitoring phone calls and all computer and electronics transmissions. The exits are covered as well."

"Does Michelle know yet?"

"I'm sure she knows about the sniper. I doubt that she knows Tony was hit. It just happened a couple of minutes ago. I need to go talk to her now."

"That's okay. I'll talk to her," Jack offered.

"Thanks, I've never been very good at delivering bad news. Some people know how to do it, but I've never figured it out."

"Audrey, there's a little waiting area over there," he pointed to his left. "As soon as I talk to Michelle, I'll arrange for someone to take you back to the hotel."

"Take your time. I can arrange a ride when I'm ready. I'd like to stay and see how Tony's doing. He saved our lives; I haven't had a chance to thank him for that."

Jack nodded and moved off to find Michelle. After talking to a couple of people he knew, he found that she had gone to the Director's office to take a call. He set off silently to his old office wondering what he was going to say to Michelle. Guilt had started to set in. If he hadn't called Tony to help him this morning, none of this would have happened. Of course, he and Audrey would be dead, but Tony would be safe. He wouldn't be lying on a gurney fighting for his life.

Inside the trauma room Dr. Copeland and his team of nurses and technicians worked frantically to keep Tony alive.

"Looks like two gunshot wounds to the chest, Doc," called one of the medics as they brought Tony into the trauma room.

Lenny Copeland was waiting for them. "Do you have vital signs?"

"Yeah, BP is 60 over palp and dropping, heart rate is around 140, respirations are about 30 and labored."

Copeland snapped on a pair of gloves and put a stethoscope to Tony's chest. "Suction his airway, please," he told a nurse. "Tony, can you hear me? Tony," he said loudly but got no response.

"There's blood in the airway, Doctor," she said.

"We're losing him," Copeland said. He started barking out orders. "Get me an intubation kit. I need to put him on a ventilator. I need IV access. Get two large bore IVs started and run normal saline wide open. I also need a central line kit and dopamine and dobutamine drips. Get a med-evac helicopter and call UCLA trauma center. If we can stabilize him here, he can be flown to them for surgery."

Team members jumped in every direction to follow Copeland's orders. Many of them had worked under Tony while he was CTU Director. Like most CTU employees, Len and his medical team felt Tony had been given a raw deal by the government. Clearly Brad Hammond and the federal prosecutor had decided that they were going to make an example of Tony. Those, like Len, who knew that Tony had fallen on hard times since he was pardoned by President Palmer, felt bad about it and hoped that he would be able to get his life together again. Right now they weren't quite sure if they could keep him alive to get the second chance they believed that he deserved.

Jack walked slowly up the steps to Michelle's office. Her door wasn't completely closed and he could hear her end of a heated phone conversation. He slipped his hand in the door and pushed it open enough so that she knew that he was there. She waved him in and he sat in the chair across the desk from her.

"Brad," she said, the exasperation clear in her voice. She looked at Jack and rolled her eyes. "We've got a silent lock down in place. That's the best we can do right now," she paused while she listened. "You're way off base, Brad. We have no reason to believe that Tony is in any way involved in this. I know how you feel, you've already told me. What do you want me to do? He wants to leave as much as you want him to go, but right now he's helping us. He saved the life of Secretary Heller's daughter. Needless to say, the Secretary is very grateful and trusts him implicitly."

Michelle was silent while she listened to the other end of the conversation.

"No, Brad, you're wrong. I can be objective about this and I am. Tony stays until he signs the transcript of his debriefing and he is finished helping us with the override. I have someone waiting to see me, Brad. I'll talk to you later." She hung up the phone harder than necessary.

"I'm sorry about that, Jack." She looked up and noticed the flat expression on his face. "Any word on the sniper? Is Rachel Piper safe?"

"The SWAT team took out the sniper. We're trying to identify him right now," he said in a soft, gentle voice. "Rachel Piper is shaken up, but she wasn't hurt."

"That's good news. Is she calm enough to work on breaking the code on the override?"

"I think if you give her a few minutes, she'll be alright."

"Jack, what's wrong? There's something you're not telling me."

"We have an officer down, Michelle."

"An officer down? Who? Why didn't you tell me right away?" An expression of dread came across Michelle's face. "Oh no, Jack," she said slowly as realization of what he was saying set in. She shook her head. "No, Jack. Don't do this to me." Her lip was quivering. "No," she whispered as tears filled her eyes. "No, not again."

"I'm sorry, Michelle," Jack said shaking his head. "Len Copeland is treating him now."

"Where was he hit?"

"Twice in the chest," he told her.

"Is he going to make it?"

"I don't know. I think it's probably too early to tell."

"Oh, God! Why did I send him out to get her? I thought he could brief her on the way in. He understood the code better than Chloe or I did," Michelle asked. She stood and moved toward the door. "I've got to see him. I've got to see him now. He has to know that I'm there for him."

She ran down the steps from her office and quickly crossed the bullpen. Jack was close behind her when she ran into the medical unit. Once inside she crossed the unit and pushed open the door to the trauma room before Jack could stop her.

She stumbled forward toward the table that was surrounded by the medical team. The controlled chaos in the room was such that no one saw her enter.

"Lenny, is he going to be alright?"

"Jesus, Michelle, what are you doing in here? Somebody get her out of here."

"No, no!" she shouted as a nurse tried to gently usher her from the room. "I need to be with him. Lenny, please!"

Jack was waiting outside of the door when the nurse brought her out. "I'll take her," he told the nurse as he put his arms around her.

"No, Jack," she sobbed as she struggled against him. "I want to be with him."

Jack held her firmly and tried to calm her. "I know, Michelle, I know," he whispered. "There's a lot going on in there right now and it's better if you're out here. Let's go over to the waiting room so you can sit down."

"No!" she screamed as she held her ground. "I'm staying right here. I need to be here when Lenny has any news."

"Okay," Jack whispered. This was not a battle worth fighting. He stood with her in front of the trauma room. Michelle leaned heavily against him as she wept bitterly, her face pressed against his chest. Audrey, who had come out of the waiting room, put a gentle hand on Michelle's shoulder to try and lend support.

Inside the trauma room things were getting tense. Thanks to the ventilator, Tony was breathing, but even with the ventilator set at its highest level, he was barely getting enough oxygen. Len could hear air in both lungs, but ordered a chest x-ray to make sure the ventilator was positioned correctly. They were giving him fluids and drugs to support his blood pressure, but despite that his blood pressure was dropping.

"I can't keep him alive here much longer," Copeland said. "How long until the med-evac arrives?"

"Another five minutes," one of the technicians informed him. "As soon as you have time, UCLA is on the phone; their trauma surgeon is ready to talk to you."

"Tell him I'll call him as soon as the helicopter takes off," he said. He turned his attention back to Tony as the alarm on the heart monitor went off. "He's in V fib! We need to shock him," Len shouted. "Damn it! Now he's flat-lining."

He grabbed the cart with the defibrillator on it and pushed it to the bedside. He talked absently to Tony while he turned it on and put the gel on the paddles. "Come on, Tony. I will not let you die on me. Hang on! You need to get into surgery."

Lenny pressed the paddles to Tony's chest and yelled "Clear!" Everyone took a step backward as the electrical shock was applied to Tony's chest. They all looked expectantly at the monitor but it still didn't show an effective heartbeat.

"Give me an amp of epinephrine," he told the nurse next to him.

She reached into a cart and pulled out the prefilled syringe. She handed the syringe to Copeland who injected it into an IV.

"I'm going to shock him again," Copeland said. "Clear!" The second shock was of a higher voltage than the first. Again everyone watched the monitor. They were relieved to see a weak but steady heartbeat.

"Let's start an epinephrine drip," Copeland told the pharmacist who stood near the cart full of emergency drugs.

"Dr. Copeland, the helicopter just landed," one of the technicians told him. "And UCLA faxed over their surgery consent. They were hoping that his wife could sign it and it could be sent with him. That way they can get started immediately."

"I'll talk to his wife. Make sure copies of all Almeida's blood work and that chest x-ray go with him. That'll speed up the process over there, too." Copeland was talking while he was walking toward the door. He pushed it open to find Michelle and Jack standing right next to it.

"Lenny, how is he? Is he okay?"

Copeland sighed, "He's alive, Michelle. If we can keep him alive until he gets to UCLA and they can get him into surgery, he has a chance. He's lost a lot of blood and we're having trouble maintaining a blood pressure. That doesn't surprise me. What does surprise me is that we're having a lot of trouble keeping his oxygen level up. He's not a smoker, is he?"

"No, until recently he was always a health nut. You know that, he ran every day and lifted weights. He never smoked."

Jack looked at Lenny, "I don't know if this means anything, but today he seemed to get winded easily. I just thought he was out of shape. He also had a cough."

"He did have a cough," Michelle said. "I said something to him about it and he said he had a cold that he couldn't shake. He hasn't taken care of himself recently."

"I ordered an x-ray; I'll have to take a look at it. Maybe he has a mild pneumonia. That plus the damage from the bullets may be the problem."

The three of them watched as the medics from the helicopter came in. Lenny directed them into the trauma room. "Michelle, I have the consent papers for surgery here. The surgeon from UCLA asked me to have you sign them so they could take him right to surgery when he arrives. I could stand here and go through all of the possible risks of surgery, but the bottom line is that without it, he'll die."

"I know," she said. "Give me a pen." Lenny handed her a pen and Michelle scrawled her signature, Michelle Dessler Almeida, across the bottom of the page. She had rarely used "Almeida" in the past, but she thought it was time to start.

"The trauma surgeon that's on call today is one of the best. We went to medical school together at Stanford," Len told her. "His name is Nick Lombardo. He'll do everything possible, I promise."

By the time she finished signing, the medics were bringing Tony out of the trauma room on a stretcher. Michelle reached for his hand.

"Hang in there, Baby," she whispered. "I'll be waiting for you when you get out of surgery. I love you."

"Ma'am, we have to go," one of the medics told Michelle as they hurriedly pushed the stretcher through the door.

Lenny addressed the lead medic as the others left the area. "Here's the surgery consent. The surgeon at UCLA will need that." The medic added it papers to a folder he was carrying.

Lenny continued, "You should also have a copy of all of his labs and we did a chest x-ray, which should be in there as well."

"The nurse said the x-ray wasn't developed yet. Maybe you can call the surgeon when you get a chance to read it."

"I'll call him as soon as it's ready," Lenny agreed. "Just hurry up and get him over there. He's not going to hang on much longer."

"Will do, sir," the medic answered as he left the room.

Lenny looked at Michelle, "I'm going to go help them put him on the helicopter. When I get back, I'll get someone to take you over to UCLA," he told her as he hurried out the door.

"I'll take you," Jack said.

"Thanks, Jack, but you were supposed to take Audrey back to the hotel," Michelle answered.

"No," Audrey said. "I'll go with you to the hospital, if you don't mind. I know that I don't really know you Michelle, but I feel really close to Tony after what he did for Jack and me today."

"Are you sure you feel up to it?" Jack asked her.

"Yeah," she answered. "I'd just as soon be near you. It would be really lonely at the hotel and I'd just worry about Tony anyway."

"Okay, then let's go," Jack said. He held the door for Michelle and Audrey as the three of them made their way out of the medical unit.

Chloe O'Brien met them in the hallway. "I'm sorry about Tony, Michelle," she said. "I just wanted you to know that Rachel Piper got herself together and broke the code. She was able to take control of the override. All of the reactors are cooling down. None of them are critical anymore. I thought you might like to know that before you went to the hospital."

"Thanks, Chloe," Michelle managed a smile. "Call Hammond and bring him up to date. Tell him that he needs to bring in an acting director immediately. I'll be at the hospital and I don't want to be disturbed for any reason."

Lenny Copeland finished helping them load Tony on the helicopter and he watched as it took off. The flight to UCLA medical center was about 15 minutes. He just hoped that Tony could hold on that long. He headed back to the medical unit to call the trauma surgeon.

As he opened the door to the unit, he was met by one of the nurses. "Dr. Copeland, I thought you should see this right away." She was holding an x-ray film.

"Is this Almeida's chest x-ray?"

"Yeah, you better take a look," her tone displayed no emotion.

Lenny held the x-ray up to the light, but couldn't get a good view. He pulled out his reading glasses and walked to the flat, lighted screen where x-rays were viewed. He turned on the background light and peered at the film.

"Jesus Christ!" he said slowly. "Jesus Christ!" he said again. "Get me the trauma surgeon on the phone immediately. No wonder we had trouble getting enough oxygen to his lungs."

Copeland stared at the x-ray as he paced the area and finally dropped into the nearest chair. "I can't believe this," he said to no one in particular. "I can't fucking believe this."

"Dr. Copeland, I've got the surgeon on line one," the unit secretary said over the intercom.

Lenny picked up the nearest phone. "Nick, are you guys ready to go over there? I just read Almeida's chest x-ray and we need to talk about it."


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks so much for all of the reviews! It's so encouraging. I don't usually get a chance to update this quickly but wrote this and figured I would go ahead and post it because I know I won't get a chance to post again until at least Friday._

_Note to Tiantian Wang: You asked how long this would be. My outline is for about 8 or 9 chapters, but I've been known to change plans midstream. _

Chapter 4

Michelle sat with Audrey and Jack outside of the operating room suite in a waiting room. Huge fish tanks lined the walls. She knew that the fish were supposed to have a calming effect on those waiting for word on their loved ones, but all they did for her was remind her that, like the fish that swam aimlessly around, she and everyone around her were small and insignificant in the vast universe. Tony could die right now and nothing would change in the world.

Oh, of course, there would be people who would miss him, but for how long? For his friends, maybe they would think of him occasionally for the first few months, but rarely after that. For his family it might be years, but within a generation he would be forgotten. For all those who never knew him, he would be a few lines in the newspaper that would likely chronicle his last heroic moments.

To think that just a couple of hours ago she and Tony were talking about reconciling. He was going to put his life back together and she was going to help him. He had to live. He just had to live so they could be together again. Without even realizing it, Michelle was crying again. She couldn't stop the tears; they just flowed incessantly.

The waiting was endless. Jack went to the cafeteria and got coffee for all of them. Michelle eventually composed herself enough to call Tony's family and then her own. Calling his parents was one of the hardest things she had ever done. Tony was the youngest of their four children and they adored him. It was bad enough when he went to prison, but this was far worse. They were so happy when he was pardoned but he had become estranged from the family since he and Michelle separated. They didn't blame her; they understood that he was pushing her away as he had pushed them away. They also knew that he was drinking heavily and that the situation had become unbearable for her.

Tony's father cried as Michelle told him what happened. The elderly man had been sick recently. He had emphysema from years of smoking and work exposure to asbestos and toxic chemicals that he came in contact with while working in the shipyards. He was so proud of his children when they got college degrees and didn't have to do manual labor like he had. He wished he could get on the next plane to LA, but he couldn't. He was too sick. He was tethered to an oxygen tank that made such travel difficult. He and Tony's mother would have to sit near the phone and wait for news to come.

It was almost three hours before a woman dressed in scrubs walked into the waiting room. "The Almeida family," she called.

Michelle jumped from her chair and ran over to her. "I'm Mrs. Almeida," she told her. It sounded funny. She never called herself "Mrs. Almeida".

"Mrs. Almeida, Dr. Lombardo will be right out to see you. You can wait in the private consultation area." The woman walked her over to a small room. She pushed open the door and turned on the light for Michelle. "Have a seat; Dr. Lombardo will be right with you."

Michelle motioned to Jack and Audrey to come in with her. She was hoping for good news and wanted them to hear it, too. She also knew that if the news was bad, she would need their support.

The three of them waited in silence. Michelle was so nervous that she paced back and forth in the small room, unable to force herself to sit down. It was about ten minutes before a man about Len Copeland's age walked in and introduced himself as Dr. Lombardo. There was a second doctor behind him who was introduced as Dr. Kleeman. This man was a little older and he wasn't dressed in scrubs.

"Mrs. Almeida," Dr. Lombardo said softly as he reached for Michelle's hand, "let's sit down."

Michelle's lower lip began to quiver as a feeling of dread overtook her. "Is my husband alive?" she asked in a shaky voice.

Jack stood and helped her to a chair fearing the answer to that question almost as much as Michelle did.

"Yes, Mr. Almeida survived the surgery," Lombardo said, his voice remaining grave and emotionless.

"Oh, thank God!" Michelle cried putting her face in her hands. Jack squeezed her shoulders knowing that something more was coming.

"Mrs. Almeida, there's more and, I'm sorry, this news isn't as good," Dr. Lombardo told her. "Lenny Copeland called me shortly before we went into surgery with an x-ray report. On the x-ray done at CTU, Lenny identified a large mass in your husband's chest."

"A mass?" Michelle asked.

"A tumor, Mrs. Almeida."

"A tumor," she repeated. "Dr. Lombardo, are you telling me that my husband has cancer?"

"A form of cancer called lymphoma," Lombardo said. "That's why Dr. Kleeman is here. He's an oncologist, a cancer specialist, and he can answer any questions for you."

"You removed the tumor, right?" Michelle asked.

"No, Mrs. Almeida. We couldn't do that. It's too large and it has attached itself to the tissues throughout his chest. It's impossible to remove at this point."

"Then he'll get chemotherapy and radiation to cure it," Michelle said matter of factly.

Dr. Kleeman spoke up. "Unfortunately, Mrs. Almeida, it's too late for that. If it had been caught in an early stage that may have been possible, but the disease is very advanced. It has spread throughout his body. I'm surprised that he hasn't had any symptoms. I would think he would have been tired and short of breath or coughing a lot."

Michelle nodded, "He's had a cough. I think he just ignored it." She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts then looked directly at Dr. Kleeman. "So what you are telling me is that there is nothing you can do for Tony, that he's going to die."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Almeida, but yes, you're correct. There is nothing more we can do to treat him. We'll do everything possible to make him comfortable."

"How long do you expect him to live?"

"I don't like to make those predictions. First, he has to recover from the gunshot wounds and that isn't a certainty. Since he has the advanced lymphoma, he's going to have difficulty healing."

"If he recovers from the shooting," Michelle persisted, "are we talking a year, two years? I need a time frame. I need to be able to plan our life." Tears streaked her face now. One nightmare was over: the surgery was complete and Tony was alive. A new nightmare had just begun: he was going to die slowly and she was going to have to watch.

Dr. Kleeman shook his head. "A couple of months at best," he said.

"Oh, God," she whispered. She doubled over in her chair as if in physical agony.

Jack thought she was going to fall off the chair. He came around and knelt on the floor in front of her to support her. She fell forward into his arms and cried inconsolably.

"I'm so sorry," Jack whispered over and over wishing that it would make everything alright. But it couldn't and he knew it. Her heart was broken. She felt as if her world was ending and she didn't know how she would ever put her life together again. In some ways, Michelle wished that Tony could have died from the shooting. She could have remembered him as a hero. Instead she was going to have to watch as he died slowly, wasting away to become someone that she didn't know. On the other hand, now she would have the time to take care of him and show him how much she loved him. In short, she wanted to make up for leaving him, if that was in any way possible.

The night was long and sleepless for Michelle. Tony's sister, Rosa, and Carlos, one of his brothers, flew in late that night. They were at once elated that Tony had survived the surgery and then devastated that he was, nonetheless, dying. Jack and Audrey tried to get the three of them to go back to Michelle's house and get some sleep. They were only able to spend a few minutes with Tony in the intensive care unit and wouldn't be able to see him again until morning. It really wasn't in anyone's best interest to spend the night in a waiting room, Jack told them. If Tony's condition changed, the doctor would call them.

They knew he was right, but refused anyway. They all wanted to be as close to Tony as possible, even if they couldn't see him. Michelle insisted that Jack and Audrey go back to their hotel. They were exhausted and finally agreed. Jack hugged Michelle and told her that they would be back in the morning.

Michelle eventually drifted off into a light sleep curled up in a chair when she a young woman's anxious voice disrupted her sleep.

"A friend of mine was brought here last night." the voice said. "He was shot. I just heard about it on the news this morning. His name is Tony Almeida." The young woman was talking to the receptionist at the waiting room entrance.

Michelle opened her eyes. Sun was shining brightly into the room. She must have been asleep longer than she realized. She and Tony's family had huddled on a group of chairs near the corner of the waiting room, far away from the windows. According to the clock on the wall, it was 7:58 am.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," the receptionist told the young woman. "Only family can see patients in the intensive care unit."

By this time Michelle had walked over to the desk. She recognized the woman; she was the waitress that Tony was living with. "Jen," Michelle said quietly.

"Yes," Jen said started, not sure why anyone here would know her name. She looked at Michelle and instantly recognized her from pictures that Tony kept hidden among his things. She looked down suddenly embarrassed that she was asking to see someone else's husband. "You're Michelle, aren't you? I recognize you from some pictures that Tony has."

"Yes, I am. I'm a little surprised that he has pictures of me."

"He keeps them hidden; I'm not supposed to know about them. How do you know my name?" Jen asked her.

"Let's say I did a little investigative work when Tony moved in with you."

"I'm sorry. He said you threw him out. He didn't have any place to go, so I let him crash at my place. I guess at the moment we both just needed somebody to be with. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. You're right, I asked him to leave. He had the right to go anywhere he wanted or to be with anyone he liked. I'm not angry with you. I'm actually happy that you took care of him. I was afraid that he'd end up on the street."

"I'm really sorry to have shown up here. I didn't know if any of his family would be here. He didn't seem very close to his family and I wanted to make sure that someone who cared about him was here for him. I'll leave; I just want to know if Tony's going to be okay?"

"You don't have to leave. If you'd like to see him for a few minutes, I can tell his nurse that it's okay. He's in pretty bad shape right now," Michelle paused for a moment. "Did you notice that Tony has had a cough recently?"

"Yeah, a bad one. He was real sick a couple of months ago. He's had that cough ever since. He's seemed tired and run down ever since that cold. I wanted him to see a doctor, but he's pretty stubborn."

Michelle smiled, "I know he is." Michelle looked down at the floor for a moment before looking up to meet Jen's eyes. "That cough was the sign of something more serious."

"You mean like pneumonia?"

"I wish it were that simple," Michelle paused. "Jen, Tony has lymphoma; it's a kind of cancer."

"Oh my God! I had no idea. I just thought he wasn't getting over the cold because he wasn't taking care of himself, because he was drinking too much. Is he going to be okay?"

Michelle closed her eyes and shook her head. "No, I'm afraid not."

Jen sat heavily in the nearest chair. "I can't believe this. I'm really sorry, Michelle. If I had had any idea, I would have made him go to the doctor."

Michelle shook her head again. "It's not your fault. The doctor told me that this was probably brewing for a long time."

Jen sat looking at the floor for a few minutes. She finally stood up still looking stunned. "I guess I should go," she said to Michelle. "Tony has you right now, he doesn't need me. I always knew that it was you that he loved. I guess I hoped that some day he would get his shit together. I knew he was smart and if he tried he could have a really good job. I had this fantasy that he would stop drinking and get a job. I pretended that he forgot about you and actually fell in love with me. He'd marry me and we'd get a house in the suburbs. I always knew it was just a dream. Tony was okay with crashing at my house, but he was too educated and too classy to ever fall for me. I didn't even finish high school. I wouldn't know how to act at some fancy office cocktail party. Just tell him I stopped by. Tell him that I'll be praying for him and that I'll miss him."

"I'll do that. I'm going to take him home as soon as he's well enough. When I do, would you like me to call you. Maybe you could come over and see him."

"If you get a chance, I'd kind of like that. I don't want to be in the way or anything, but I'd like to stop and say 'hi' to him. I'll pack his things up and bring them back to him."

"I'll call you when he gets home," Michelle promised. She watched Jen walk away without another word. Jen fidgeted and wiped away tears as she waited for the elevator.

Carlos and Rosa were both awake now. Carlos went over and put his arms around Michelle. "I know how hard that must have been. You handled it well."

"There was no point in beating up on the poor girl. She didn't do anything wrong. I threw Tony out and she knew a good man when she saw him. Maybe I could learn something from her."

The next few days passed slowly and painfully. Audrey and Jack had to return to Washington. Jack promised Michelle that he would keep in touch and he would try and get back to LA in the next couple of weeks.

Carlos and Rosa spent three days with Michelle but both had to return to their homes and families. They had not told their parents of Tony's illness yet. They decided that this was news best delivered in person rather than over the phone. Carlos would tell them when he returned to Chicago. They also discussed arrangements to fly Tony's parents to LA to see him.

Michelle called Brad Hammond and told him that she was taking a leave of absence to take care of Tony. She didn't know when she would be back and if Brad wouldn't agree to that she would resign. Her job was unimportant right now; Tony was her only concern. Hammond agreed. He wasn't happy about it but he knew that it was better to lose Michelle for the next few months than to lose her permanently.

Michelle then started making plans to take Tony home as soon as possible. She was determined that he wouldn't die in some cold, sterile hospital. He would die in their home, in their bed.

Tony was kept heavily sedated for the first couple of days. Even when he did begin to wake up on the third day after surgery, he was only awake for short periods of time. He still wasn't strong enough to breathe on his own, so he remained on a ventilator, unable to speak.

Michelle walked into the intensive care unit six days after Tony was shot more apprehensive than she had been in any of the previous five days. Tony was finally breathing on his own, although he needed an oxygen mask. He hadn't yet been told that he was terminally ill, but Dr. Kleeman was planning to come in that day to tell him.

"Hi, Sweetheart," she said smiling as she walked into his room. "How do you feel this morning?"

It was still hard for him to talk so he gave her a "thumbs up". She took his hand and leaned over to kiss him. He reached up weakly to move the oxygen mask.

"No," she told him, "you need that. You'll be short of breath without it."

"Just one kiss," he said quietly.

"Okay," she said. She removed the mask just long enough to kiss him. "There. How's that?"

"Better," he answered looking deeply into her eyes. "You need to get some rest, Honey."

"Don't worry about me. Let's worry about you right now."

They both looked toward the door in response to a quiet knock. Dr. Kleeman stood in the door. He entered the room and identified himself to Tony. Michelle stood silently next to Tony holding his hand as Dr. Kleeman gently told Tony about his illness.

Tony sat silently in bed listening to the doctor. He showed little emotion except for tightening his grip on Michelle's hand and momentarily closing his eyes and putting his head back. It reminded Michelle of how stoic he had been through his arrest and arraignment and sentencing. He never seemed to flinch, never showed any emotion. She stood with him, tears racing down her face, an occasional sob escaping from her throat. Tony asked the doctor a couple of questions and thanked him for his candor. He told Tony and Michelle to call him if they had more questions and then he left.

"When did you find out?" Tony asked Michelle as he stared at the wall.

"Right after the surgery."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Dr. Lombardo and Dr. Kleeman wanted to wait until you were more alert. That seemed reasonable to me."

"So you thought it was okay to let me think I was getting better, that all I had to do was recover from the gunshot wounds and I would be fine and that we would live happily ever after." He coughed sending an explosion of pain through his chest.

Michelle waited while he got his breath. "Tony, maybe it was the wrong thing to do. I'll admit, I'm not thinking all that clearly right now. Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I didn't know how to tell you or what was right. All I know is that I love you and I'm afraid of losing you. I'm afraid of having to live my life without you."

Tony still stared at the wall. "Do my parents know?"

"Carlos told them when he got back to Chicago."

"How did they take it?"

"They're having a hard time with it. Your brothers are making arrangements to bring them out to see you in a few weeks."

"I don't want them to see me like this."

"Tony, they're your parents. They really want to see you; they need to see you."

Tony nodded almost imperceptibly and closed his eyes. "I need to be alone for a little while, Michelle."

"I'd like to stay with you. Just let me sit here with you. We need each other right now, Tony."

Tony shook his head. "Maybe later, but right now I need to be alone."

Michelle bit her lower lip and nodded. She was afraid that he was pushing her away. "I understand that you want some time, Tony, but I want you to know that I love you and I'm here for you. I took a leave of absence from work. As soon as you're up to it, I'm going to take you home. We're going to be together."

Tony nodded again and thanked her quietly. Michelle kissed his forehead. "I'll be in the waiting room. When you're ready for me to come back, tell your nurse. I'm sure she'd be nice enough to come and get me." Michelle turned slowly and started for the door.

She was about to walk out the door when she heard Tony's soft voice. "Don't go, Baby," He started to cry. "Don't leave me, Baby."

Michelle quickly crossed the room and took him in her arms. She held him and they cried together. His crying seemed to trigger a cough reflex and he began coughing weakly. Each cough sent sharp stabbing pain through his chest. Michelle called his nurse who gave him morphine to ease the pain. She told him that it would also relax him and suppress the cough. Mercifully, within minutes he was asleep.

Michelle kissed his forehead and adjusted the covers so that he was warm. She stood watching him sleep, stroking his face and remembering how happy they had once been and all of the hopes and dreams they had for the future. Those dreams were shattered now; they could never come true. Right now her dreams were reduced to something as simple as taking him home and making him comfortable in his own house. That dream was plausible. The others would have to fade and die like so many tender flowers under the brutal summer sun.

_I hope the plot doesn't appear too similar to a story Maria Elizabeth wrote where Michelle is dying of cancer. I had this idea and had started to outline this story when I read that one. I thought about changing it, but decided against it. Honestly, I didn't steal the idea!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Hi and thanks again to all of you for reviewing. Sorry this has turned out to be a sad story and thanks for sticking with me even though this may not turn out the way all of us Tony and Michelle fans would like. I hope that the ending willat leastleave you with a feeling of hope for the future and that some of you might even find it happy. (This isn't the last chapter. I've got a few more to go.)_

Chapter 5

It was three weeks before Tony was strong enough to go home. Even at that point his doctors weren't happy with the idea of him leaving the hospital, but both he and Michelle insisted. It was pointless for him to stay, he told them. They could do nothing more for him and he would be more comfortable in his own home. Michelle had arranged to have an oxygen tank at home and for a nurse to come and check on Tony every other day. Dr. Kleeman suggested that Michelle have a hospital bed brought into the house, but Tony balked at the idea. He wasn't sleeping in a hospital bed; he was sleeping next to his wife. He was walking with the help of a walker and was strong enough to get around the little three bedroom, ranch-style house they bought a few months after they were married.

Jack flew out to LA the day that Tony was coming home to help get him settled. They pulled into the driveway and Jack helped Tony inside. Tony smiled as soon as he saw the house. He loved the place and it held so many good memories. He was happy to be home and it wasn't long before Tony was settled in and sitting in his favorite chair in the family room.

"Jack," Michelle said, "Tony's family is coming in this weekend and I really need to pick up some groceries. Could you stay with Tony for a couple of hours while I shop?"

"Of course, Michelle. Take your time," Jack told her.

Michelle grabbed her purse, kissed Tony goodbye and thanked Jack again before she left. Tony sat in his chair channel surfing.

"Are you comfortable, Tony?" Jack asked him.

"More than I've been in a long time," he told Jack. "Thanks, Jack, for everything. You've been an incredible friend."

"I wish I could do more, Tony. If I lived close by, I'd be more help."

"You've been great. Michelle and I really appreciate it," Tony paused for a second but Jack knew that he had more to say. "Could you do me a favor?"

"Sure, anything," Jack told him.

"Back in the study, in the top, right hand drawer of the desk, there should be paper and envelopes. Could you get me a couple of sheets of paper and an envelope?"

Jack went off to find the items and returned a minute or two later. "I brought you a pen, too," Jack told him as he handed them all to Tony.

Tony thanked him, took a book from the nearby coffee table and began writing. Jack knew that whatever he was writing, he had thought about for a long time. He wrote without stopping, rarely making a correction. When he finally finished, he folded the paper in thirds and inserted it in the envelope. Then he sealed the envelope and put Michelle's name on the front.

"I need to ask another favor of you, Jack."

"I told you before, Tony, anything," Jack said.

Tony handed the envelope to Jack. "I want you to make sure the Michelle gets this on the first anniversary of my death. You can deliver it in person, or have Kim deliver it or have it sent by overnight mail, whatever is convenient for you, but I want her to get it that day. Until that time, I don't want her to know anything about it."

"Of course, Tony," Jack said as he took the envelope. "If I can possibly deliver it in person, I will."

Tony thanked him and Jack put the envelope away just as Michelle came into the house. Tony hastily turned on a sports show on ESPN and he and Jack acted as if they had been watching it all along.

Jack helped Michelle bring the groceries into the house and then said his goodbyes. He would be returning to Washington later that night but promised that he would talk to them every couple of days.

Tony tired out easily and, even after taking an afternoon nap, by 9:30 he was ready to go to bed. Michelle helped him to the bathroom where he stripped down his boxer shorts to wash up.

"Honey, I put clean shorts and a tee shirt on the bed for you," Michelle called into the bathroom. Tony was steady enough to get washed on his own right now, but Michelle knew that wouldn't last for long. The doctors had told her that, although he might appear to rally a bit in the first few days that he was home, his course would be steadily downhill. Michelle wasn't sure she was prepared for any of that but knew she would have to deal with it as it happened.

Tony finished in the bathroom and made his way slowly across the bedroom toward the bed. Michelle helped by carrying the portable oxygen tank that traveled with him everywhere. He started to take off his boxer shorts and then sat on the bed to complete the task. Once they were off Michelle handed him the clean pair.

He looked up at her and smiled. "Honey, we've never worn clothes to bed, I'm not going to start now. I don't have the strength to make love to you, but I still want to feel your skin against mine."

Michelle smiled back at him. He was right. Since they first became intimate, she couldn't remember a night when either of them had slept with clothes on. At times she would put on some piece of sexy lingerie, but he always took it off of her before they went to sleep.

Michelle got ready for bed and undressed letting her clothes lay on the floor were they fell. She slipped into bed next to him and moved close so that their bodies touched. Tony turned on his side and put his arms around her. That was the first she realized how thin he had become. His chest had always been full and muscular. Now she could feel his ribs and the reality that he would only become thinner and sicker seemed to wash over her like the tide rolling in. The pain of it was more than she could bear and, although she had been careful not to cry much in front of Tony, she was no longer able to contain it. Tears came in a torrent. She sobbed until she was breathless. All the while Tony held her and tried to comfort her. He had come to grips with the death sentence that had been handed down and he was no longer sad or afraid. At times he wondered if he was in denial, but really, he understood what was happening and he chose to accept it rather than fight it.

"Baby," he whispered. "Do you know how lucky we've been?"

"Lucky?" Michelle said incredulously. "Lucky? Tony, first you were sent to prison and now you're dying. I'm not sure I call that lucky."

"Honey," he said gently. "For the three years before any of that happened, we were the happiest people on the face of the earth. We had an incredible love. Some people never have that kind of love and we had it for three precious years. Whatever happens, you will always have those memories and the knowledge that we had something really special."

He continued, "We've also been given this time together to say all those things we wish we had said in the past and to show each other how deep our love is. Ask Jack if he would have liked to have had a chance to do that with Teri. I think he would say 'yes'."

"That's not fair, Tony. Teri was murdered. Jack had no warning at all; he found her dead."

"That's not the point, Michelle. If Jack had known that Teri was going to die, I'm sure there would have been things he would have told her first. I've got that chance and I'm not going to waste it.

"Michelle, you made me happier than I ever imagined I could be. Our love is boundless and magical. It defies all reason and logic. I've got the easy part here, Honey. I get to die and go on to what I believe is a better place. You have to stay behind. I don't want you to grieve. I want you to remember how special our love was and move forward. You have your whole life to live. Enjoy it. Cherish every day knowing that I'm with you no matter where you go or where life takes you." Tony kissed her forehead gently and wiped tears from her face.

"Tony, I'm so sorry for leaving you. You needed me and all I could see was that you were destroying yourself and I didn't know how to stop you. I wasn't strong enough to stand by and watch and I didn't know how to give you the support I needed, so I did the easiest thing, I left. After what you did for me, you deserved better."

"You don't need to apologize. You weren't responsible for stopping me from destroying myself. I was the only one who could do that. You were right to leave."

They lay quietly for a few minutes listening to the soft hiss of the oxygen and the crickets outside of the window. Soon they fell asleep, peacefully tangled in each other's arms.

Tony's parents and his brothers arrived the next day and seemed to breathe life into the otherwise lifeless house. The visit was sad, for they all suspected that it would be their last, but Tony enjoyed it. They talked for hours and Tony hardly seemed tired during the four days that his family was there. When it was time for them to leave, Tony refused to say 'goodbye', saying only that they would be together again one day.

Tony's sister and her husband visited the next weekend and friends and Michelle's family were in and out of the house on a regular basis visiting and bringing food and staying with Tony when Michelle had to go out. Jack called every couple of days for progress reports and to offer support.

The progression of Tony's illness over the next two months was difficult for everyone to watch. His spirit stayed in tact, but life seemed to ebb slowly from him. He slept more and more hours every day until he was sleeping twelve or so hours at night and another two or three hours in the afternoon.

After waking one morning and making what had become a laborious trip from the bedroom to his favorite chair in the family room, Tony patted the arm of the chair indicating to Michelle that he wanted her to sit. She was busy fussing over the tubing from the oxygen tank and making sure that his feet were propped up just so and tucking a blanket in around him.

"Sit," he said softly tugging at her hand. He was constantly short of breath now and speech had become difficult. "We need to talk."

Michelle sat on the arm of the chair. "What do we need to talk about, Sweetheart?"

"Time to make some arrangements, Babe," he said stopping to breathe in the middle of the sentence.

She knew what he meant but didn't want to talk about it. "Not yet, Tony. We have time."

"No. Now, Honey."

"Okay, I'm listening," she said trying to keep her voice from quivering.

"I want to be cremated," he told her.

Michelle nodded as tears filled her eyes. This was something they had talked about years earlier. They had a dangerous job that occasionally took them out in the field where death was a possibility. On a superficial level, with neither of them believing that it was really necessary, they had had this discussion early in their marriage.

"Bury my ashes in Chicago."

Michelle looked surprised. "Honey, I want you to be in LA."

Tony shook his head emphatically. "No, I don't want you to be tied to a grave. You're going to move on. You're moving up in the CIA. You might get transferred to Langley. I don't want you to feel obligated to come and visit. My family is in Chicago and my parents will be buried there. It's best if I'm buried there."

Michelle shook her head softly and cried.

"Please, Michelle. It's best," he paused to get his breath. "You don't think you'll move on right now, but you will. I want you to." He reached up weakly to wipe away her tears.

Tony slept much of the day. Michelle eventually helped him to bed. Over the past few days he had become too weak to wash up in the bathroom, so each night she brought a basin of water to the bedside and tenderly washed him. She started to undress him as she did every night so that they could lie together feeling the softness and warmth of each other's body. As she slipped her hands under his tee shirt to take it off, Tony reached for her hands.

"Too tired, Honey," he said in a barely audible whisper. "Leave it on."

Michelle was happy that his eyes were closed so that he couldn't see the tears tracing silent paths down her cheeks. It was only 8 o'clock, but she got ready for bed and slipped in beside him. He was asleep already so she just lay next to him crying, knowing that death would come soon but not knowing exactly when. His breathing was quiet but shallow and labored. She was afraid to sleep but at some point around midnight must have cried herself to total exhaustion and succumbed.

She awoke around 6a.m. grateful to hear Tony breathing next to her. She got up and got dressed but propped herself up on the bed next to him and tried to read but found herself just watching Tony sleep. He finally awoke around 11 o'clock. The shine seemed to be gone from his deep brown eyes.

"Hey, Sleepyhead," she whispered kissing his cheek lightly. "It's a beautiful day. How about if I get you up and I'll make you some breakfast?"

Tony shook his head slightly. "No, Baby," he said breathlessly. "Just want to sleep, just want to stay here."

"Will you eat some oatmeal?" she asked hopefully.

He shook his head again. "Just sleep," he whispered as he closed his eyes.

Michelle covered her mouth with her hand to keep from sobbing out loud. She went to the kitchen and grabbed her cell phone. She listened while a phone rang 3000 miles away in Washington D.C.

"This is Jack Bauer," the distracted voice on the other end said. He and Audrey were just coming back from lunch and were stealing a few quiet minutes together behind his office door. His lips were pressed softly against her neck and she was giggling at the tickling sensation.

"Jack," Michelle sobbed.

Jack stepped away from Audrey. "Michelle, what's going on?" he asked fearing her answer. He looked at Audrey who looked back at him, her face showing the same fear he felt.

"Tony's dying. He won't get out of bed or eat. All he wants to do is sleep. This is the end, Jack. I'm so scared!"

"Michelle, have you called Tony's family?"

"No, you're the first person I called."

"Tony's family needs to know. You have to get yourself together enough to call them now. Call Kim. She'll come over and stay with you. I'll get the next possible flight to LA, but you have to hang in there. You have to stay strong."

"I know," she sobbed. "I'm trying Jack, but it's so hard."

"I know it is, Michelle. I'm going to let you go now. I'll be there as soon as I can. Call me if you need to talk before I get there." Jack hung up the phone.

"Is he gone?" Audrey asked hesitantly.

"It's a matter of time," Jack said succinctly. "I'm going to get the next flight out. I'll talk to your dad and let him know what's going on."

"He'll give you whatever time you need. He's still grateful to Tony for saving our lives. Jack I'm coming with you."

"You're supposed to go to New York tomorrow."

"I'll cancel. This is more important. I want to be with you."

"Thanks, Baby. I need to there," he whispered as he kissed her softly. "I'll go talk to your dad."

Audrey stood for a moment in Jack's office trying to get her thoughts together and she found herself annoyed. Tony and Michelle had suddenly become Jack's focus. He talked to them every couple of days and emailed Michelle daily. Audrey knew that she was wrong to feel this way, that she was acting like a child and was angry at herself for it. She tried to remind herself that Tony was Jack's best friend and losing him was painful, but that wasn't enough to suppress the annoyance she felt.

On top of it all, Audrey felt as though Michelle was becoming too dependent on Jack. He was the first person she called with news whether it was good or bad. Shouldn't she be calling Tony's family first. Why Jack? Jack brushed it off by saying that it was because they had been good friends for years and Jack, having lost his own wife, understood the pain and sadness that Michelle was facing. The whole subject resulted in a huge argument a couple of days ago.

"Are you jealous?" Jack had queried her with a scowl on his face.

"Of course not," she had answered back indignantly. But the more she thought about it, the more she wondered if maybe Jack was right. It was ludicrous! How could she be jealous of a woman who was about to become a widow? What kind of cold-hearted person could feel that way?

Jack and Audrey arrived in LA around 9 o'clock that night and picked up a rental car. They drove directly to Tony and Michelle's house. When they rang the bell, it was Jack's daughter, Kim, who answered the door.

"Daddy," she said kissing and hugging him. "I'm so glad you're here. Michelle really needs you."

Kim hugged and kissed Audrey as well. She and Chase discussed it and neither of them thought the Audrey was right for Jack, but he seemed to be happy in the relationship so they kept their feelings to themselves and welcomed her.

"How's Tony?" Jack asked as he greeted Chase.

"He's basically just sleeping. He wakes up occasionally and says a few words, but otherwise he's sleeping. His breathing is really labored. He doesn't have long, Jack. His brothers are here. They're in the bedroom with him; so is Michelle. Why don't you go back and see him."

Jack nodded and turned to go down the hallway when he saw someone coming out of the kitchen.

"Jack," said a familiar voice.

"Kate," he said smiling in return. "How are you?"

His former girlfriend, Kate Warner, was a close friend of Michelle's. They had become friends several years back when Tony and Michelle had started dating and they frequently went out with Jack and Kate. After Jack broke up with Kate, she and Michelle remained good friends.

"It's good to see you, Jack," Kate told him as they hugged.

Jack stepped back and held Kate at arms length. "Well this is a surprise," he said looking down at her expanding belly. "I knew you were married, but I didn't know you were pregnant."

"I had some problems early in the pregnancy. I didn't want a lot of people to know so I kept it a secret until I started showing a few weeks ago."

"Congratulations," Jack said. "Are the problems all resolved?"

"Yes, everything's fine now. Thanks for asking."

Jack quickly introduced Audrey to Kate and the two exchanged pleasantries.

"I'm glad you can be here for Michelle. She really needs a good friend like you right now," Jack said to Kate.

"I wish I could do more," Kate sighed. "It's just so hard for me to understand what she's going through. You're the one she really needs, Jack. You really understand her. You should go back and see Tony."

Jack nodded and took a deep breath steeling himself for his last moments with his friend. He left his jacket on a chair in the living room and walked slowly into the bedroom. Michelle sat on the bed with her back to the door. Jack rested his hand lightly on Michelle's shoulder.

"How are you holding up, Honey," she said softly.

Michelle stood quickly and fell into Jack's arms. "Thank you for coming," she said, her voice quivering. He held her wishing that there was some way to transfer strength to her. He knew what the next days and weeks and months held for her and, if there were a way to save her from it, he would have gladly done it. The first days would be the worst, but just when she started to think it should get easier, friends and family would have moved on, gone home to live their lives and suddenly she would find herself more alone than she had ever been in her life. Suddenly she would feel as if she was the only person on the planet and her only love was gone. He knew the feeling and he hadn't dealt well with it. Almost seven years after Teri's death, sometimes he still felt that way. Sometimes he still felt like she just died yesterday and the pain was still fresh. He enjoyed his job and he adored Audrey, and all of that helped, but he suspected that the pain would never totally go away. He hated to see Michelle face the same pain.

She hugged Audrey as Jack greeted Tony's brothers.

Jack knelt next to the bed and rested his hand on top of Tony's. "Hey, Buddy," he said trying hard to keep his voice steady.

Michelle leaned close to Tony's face. "Honey, Jack's here," she told him. She smoothed his hair. "Can you say 'hello' to him?"

Tony seemed to fight to open his eyes. "Jack," he moved his lips but little sound came out.

Jack tightened his grip on Tony's hand and felt Tony's weak attempt to return the squeeze. "You just rest, Tony. You don't have to talk." Jack told him.

"Jack," Tony said again, this time with more strength and his eyes partially opened. "Gonna see Teri," he stopped to breathe. "Anything you want," he paused again, "me to tell her?"

"That I miss her as much today as the day she left me," Jack whispered through his tears. "And that I still love her."

Tony nodded almost imperceptibly. "Promise me," he paused to breathe, "you'll take care," he paused again, longer this time, "of Michelle for me."

"You know I will, Tony," Jack said no longer able to keep his voice steady. "You know I will." Jack leaned down and hugged Tony as he cried. He was amazed by how thin and frail his friend had become.

Jack stood and backed away from the bed so Tony's family could take the positions closest to him. He stepped back near the door where Audrey stood. He took a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe tears away. As he fought to regain composure, he reached for Audrey's hand. Audrey looked away and kept her hands clasped lightly together in front of her. Jack looked at her not sure what was wrong. He beckoned her out into the hallway.

"What's wrong, Audrey?" he asked quietly.

"I'm really tired, Jack and everyone here is either family or close friends. I feel really out of place. Maybe I should just go back to the hotel."

Jack was hurt but managed to mask it. Audrey had said she was coming to LA to support him and just when he needed to know she was close by and loved him she was going to go to the hotel. "If that's what you want, Audrey," he said quietly. "You can take the car. I'll have Chase bring me over to the hotel later."

"Okay," she said. "I'll see you when you get there. Call me and let me know how things are going." She gave him a light, friendly kiss, said quick goodbyes to everyone and left.

Jack watched her go from the porch. Chase stepped outside with him.

"What was that about?" Chase asked him.

"I'm not sure. Audrey's never been particularly self-centered, but she seems to be upset about how much time I'm spending with Michelle and Tony. Maybe I'm ignoring her and I didn't even realize it. It's just that," Jack shrugged, "they're my friends and they need me more right now than Audrey does. I wish she could understand that. Tony asked me if he could tell Teri anything. I said to tell her that I miss her and I love her. Maybe that upset Audrey, but we've talked about that. I've told Audrey, I'll never stop loving Teri. She was a part of my life for too many years. We raised a child together. That doesn't mean that I love Audrey any less.

"Remember, Jack, everything in LA is part of Teri and your old life. Audrey isn't really a part of that life. I can understand where that makes her a little insecure."

"Yeah, I guess," Jack said not really understanding but wanting the conversation to end. "Let's go back inside."

Jack and Chase walked inside. As they did, they prayed for a miracle even while they knew they had to face the inevitable.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Tony died shortly after midnight. Everyone's grief was mixed with some sense of relief that the ordeal was over. Michelle lay on the bed with him, cradling him in her arms crying painfully.

"Jack," Kate said to him, "maybe you should take Michelle out of the bedroom."

"I agree," Chase chimed in, "this is too hard on her."

Jack shook his head adamantly. "No, she needs this time with him. Believe me, I know. I held Teri for a long time. Everybody tried to take her away from me. I needed that time. I needed to say goodbye in my own way. I knew when I was ready to let go."

Kim was nodding in agreement, her eyes filled with tears. She remembered clearly the night her mother died. She had sat on the floor with her father as he held her mother. They cried together and kissed her and said their goodbyes.

Jack was right. It was almost an hour before Michelle kissed Tony and laid him back against the pillow. She turned and started to get up. Jack reached out and helped her off the bed and held her while she calmed down.

A quiet memorial service was held in LA two days later for Tony's friends and former colleagues. Then Michelle and Tony's brothers flew to Chicago for a memorial service and burial. As much as she didn't want to, Michelle honored Tony's request to be buried in Chicago.

Two weeks later, Michelle finally returned to her job at Division. She was barely in the door when her secretary told her that Brad Hammond wanted to see her in his office.

Michelle knocked and waited for Brad to tell her to enter.

"I hear you need to see me," she said in an emotionless voice.

Brad hadn't seen her since Tony was shot and she took a leave of absence. He had talked to her a couple of times but knew that neither she nor Tony had any desire to see him. He was shocked by how tired she looked. She had always been thin but now was drawn and her complexion without any of the rosy glow that made her so attractive and appealing.

"Michelle, I can't imagine how hard the last couple of months have been for you. Again, I want to offer my condolences and those of all of our employees."

"Thank you," Michelle whispered trying to keep her emotions in check.

"We're happy to have you back at work. I need to talk to you about your current position. You've been deputy director here at Division for over a year now and your performance has been exemplary," he paused. "I know this is probably not the best time to ask you to make a decision, but it seems pointless to wait any longer. The position of CTU Director has remained vacant since Erin Driscoll was relieved of her command. We need to name a director, Michelle, and I would like to offer you the position."

Michelle was stunned. "Brad, I, uh, don't know what to say. I'm not prepared to give you an answer right now. I'll be honest with you; I'm having trouble deciding what to wear every day. I can't make this decision now."

"Michelle, I know this is sudden. I've discussed this with my superiors and we decided to allow the CTU Director's position to remain open until you got back from your leave of absence. There are several candidates, but you, by far, are the most qualified. You deserve this job, Michelle and I hope you'll take it. I don't need an answer right now, but I do need one in the next few days. So think it over. You know what the job entails better than most people. I think you'd do a wonderful job."

"I'll think about it, Brad, but it's not a job I ever aspired to."

"I don't believe that for a second, Michelle. I think you loved it when Tony was in that position and you were part of the inner workings of the department. I know you were part of virtually every decision he made. You may not have agreed with him, but you were there helping him weigh out the pros and cons. You want this job, Michelle and if I were offering it to you at any other point in your life, I think you would take it in a heartbeat."

Michelle spent the next couple of days thinking about Brad's offer. The more she thought about it, the more she knew that she wanted the job. She didn't want it for herself, she wanted it for Tony. She wanted him to see how much she had learned while watching him in that position. She wanted him to be proud of her.

Two weeks later her promotion was announced and she was sitting behind the huge desk in the loft office at CTU. She moved in quickly and dove into the work. There was plenty to do and she immersed herself in it, sometimes working sixteen hours a day. She knew that in fact she was working to avoid being alone. When she left work, she had to face the empty house.

Jack often called her in her office at 9 or 10 o'clock and told her to go home. He was worried about her. He knew what she was going though and empathized with her. Every couple of months when he was lucky enough to have business on the west coast, he would always make a detour to see her. He told everyone that he was going to see Kim, and of course, he did spend time with Kim, but he felt a special responsibility to check on Michelle. He promised Tony that he would take care of Michelle and he would never let Tony down.

At the same time that Jack was telling Michelle not to work so hard, he found himself spending more and more time at work. The time he now spent at work was time he used to spend with Audrey. Their relationship had changed since the terrorist attack. The day it happened, Audrey was talking about filing for divorce from her husband, Paul. Months later when Jack asked her if she still planned to file for divorce, she told him that she didn't know. She said that she was confused. Jack told her that he understood, even though he didn't. Soon they were spending less and less time together and when they were together, they didn't seem to be as happy. Over time, they stopped being intimate and eventually Audrey told Jack that she would like to be free to see Paul again. That, of course, would mean that he was free to date as well. They continued to see each other at work and went out to dinner or the theater on occasion. Jack knew that Audrey was still bothered by his relationship with Michelle. He assured her that they were only friends, close friends to be sure, but still just friends.

Months flew by and soon the first anniversary of Tony's death was approaching. Jack had the letter for Michelle that Tony had written tucked safely in a dresser drawer. He had long ago decided that he would deliver the letter in person. He wasn't sure why, but he didn't want to entrust someone else with something so obviously important to Tony and he certainly couldn't do anything as cold and impersonal as mailing it to her.

Secretary Heller's weekly staff meeting was in full swing. Jack sat near the Secretary, but his mind was 3000 miles away. He needed a couple of days off if he was going to take the letter to LA and he wasn't quite sure how to word his request to the Secretary. Heller knew that Jack and Audrey's romance had cooled but didn't know why. The meeting wound down and Jack lingered behind the other staff members.

"Jim," he said in a matter of fact tone. "I have to be in Denver next Tuesday and Wednesday, I have some vacation time coming and I wondered if it would be okay for me to take off Thursday and Friday. I'm pretty well caught up on everything."

"That sounds like a good idea, Jack. You've been putting in a lot of hours lately. Are you going out to LA to see Kim?"

"I thought I'd do that," Jack said, his eyes not meeting Heller's.

"Her baby is due soon, isn't it?"

"Yeah, in a few weeks," Jack said smiling at the thought of his first grandchild. He treated Chase's daughter like a granddaughter and she even called him "Grandpa" but he was excited that Kim and Chase were now having their own child.

"Enjoy the weekend. Tell Kim and Chase that I said 'hello'."

"I'll do that, sir. Thank you." As Jack left Heller's office, he noticed that Audrey was reading something that Jim's secretary had given her. Her location allowed her to hear his conversation with her father.

"Stopping in LA next week?" she asked.

"Yeah," Jack said quietly.

"That's nice. You'll get to see Kim before the baby's born. I bet she's getting big now."

"She seems to think she looks like a cow," Jack said with a slight laugh. "Her mother felt the same way. She's driving Chase crazy. I told him he'd just have to put up with it for another couple of weeks."

Audrey smiled a little and went back to what she was reading.

Jack returned to his office, took off his jacket and went back to work. The conversation with both Heller and Audrey bothered him. He hadn't exactly lied to either of them, but he hadn't told them the truth either. A phone call interrupted his thoughts and soon he had forgotten his concerns.

He worked into the evening. It was about 8:30 when Tom Stoner from the office next to Jack's leaned in his door. Stoner had on his coat and his briefcase was in his hand.

"Hey," Tom said, "it's time to go home."

"Just a couple more minutes," Jack said. "Have a good evening. I'll see you in the morning."

The office suite was quiet and mostly dark. All of the doors closed and lights off except for those in Jack's and Audrey's offices. Tom was right, it was time to go home and Jack started to pack up. He was about to lock up his office when Audrey walked slowly up to him.

"Audrey, you should pack up and go home. It's late."

"I guess I should. Your trip to LA next week," she started, "you're going to see Michelle, aren't you?"

"Thursday is the first anniversary of Tony's death. It's going to be a hard day for her. He asked me to deliver a letter that he wrote to her. So, I'm going to stop and see her."

"Why did you lie?"

"I didn't lie, Audrey," he said with a hint of irritation in his voice. He knew he hadn't really lied but some guilt crept into him anyway. "I'm going to see Kim, too. It just didn't seem important to explain to your father that Tony asked me to give Michelle this letter."

"Oh, it didn't seem important to mention to my father that you were going to LA to see a woman while you're dating his daughter."

"Oh, we're dating again? Thanks for letting me in on this. So, let me understand this. You can see Paul, but I can't see anyone." He shook his head. "Audrey, your father knows our relationship has changed. That was your choice, not mine."

Audrey looked away for a couple of seconds and finally looked back at Jack. "I've made a decision, Jack," she paused as if she needed to think about what she was going to say next. "I'm going back to Paul."

"Your are?" Jack said sounding a bit surprised. He didn't know why he should be surprised; he suspected that this was coming for a long time. "Congratulations, I'm happy for you both."

"We seem to have worked out our differences so we're going to give it another try. I'm sorry, Jack."

"Don't be. You need to do what's right for you." His tone was cool.

Audrey nodded silently again. "That leaves you free to further your relationship with Michelle," she said softly.

"What?" Jack asked incredulously. "Is that why you're doing this? Is that why you're going back to Paul? So I can pursue a relationship with Michelle. If that's your reason, Audrey, you better rethink it. Nothing is further from my mind."

Audrey wanted to cry but willed herself not to. "Oh, Jack, your love for her is so obvious. Why won't you admit it?"

"Audrey, I've told you before, Michelle and I are friends and yes, I love her, but I am not in love with her."

"No Jack, you're wrong. You are in love with her. Everyone but you and Michelle can see it. When Tony was dying everyone kept saying how much Michelle needed you and that they were happy that you were there for her."

"That's because I understand her. Audrey, let me tell you, there aren't many widowed people in our age group. Friends, whether they are married or single, don't understand how you feel when you've lost your spouse. People just said they were happy that I was there because they knew that I understood what Michelle was going through."

"No, Jack there's more to it than that. For God's sake, before he died Tony made you promise to take care of Michelle. He gave you his wife, Jack! Can't you see that?"

"Audrey, this is ludicrous. He didn't give her to me. He asked me to look after her. I can't even believe we're having this argument," he said as he locked his office door. "We had a good relationship, Audrey. I guess I should have known better than to get involved with a married woman. I honestly believed that you were on the verge of divorcing Paul. I thought we could have a life together. I wanted us to have a life together. Michelle and I are dear friends, but I can tell you in all honesty that I have never considered a romance with her."

Jack started to walk away and then turned back, his expression softening. "Good luck to you and Paul. You deserve to be happy, Audrey, and I hope he makes you happy."

Audrey watched Jack walk away. She pressed her hand against her lips to keep them from trembling. She watched as he pressed the elevator button and then impatiently took the stairs. When he was safely out of earshot, she let herself cry.

Jack arrived in LA the next Thursday afternoon. He picked up his rental car and drove the familiar route away from the airport and toward the city. Once on the highway, he took out his cell phone and called Michelle's office. Her secretary told him that she had taken the day off. He thanked her and hung up. He drove several miles and got off at the exit that would take him to Michelle's house. He doubted that she had gone anywhere. If she wasn't at work, she was probably at home. He pulled out his phone again and called her cell; she answered on the third ring.

"Hey," he said softly, "how are you holding up?"

"Jack," she exclaimed. "Thank you for calling. It's been a terrible day."

"I know," he said in an understanding voice. "I know. Are you planning anything special?"

"No, I'm pretty much just sitting at home feeling sorry for myself," she admitted.

"Well, I'm feeling pretty bad, too, so why don't we go out to dinner and make each other feel better."

"How can we go to dinner? Where are you?" Michelle asked him.

"Open your front door," he told her.

Michelle opened the door in time to see Jack pull his rental car into her driveway. She ran out to the car to meet him.

"Jack, you're so sweet!" she cried as she hugged and kissed him. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise. I thought you might need some company today, so I came to visit."

"You've been so good to me. How can I ever thank you, Jack?"

"You can start by letting me take you out to dinner and if at some point you could actually give me one of your prettiest smiles, that would be all the thanks I need."

"Where's Audrey? Will she be joining us for dinner?"

Jack looked at the ground for a moment and shook his head.

"Jack, what's wrong? The last few times I've talked to you, you've hardly mentioned Audrey."

"Audrey's going back to her husband," Jack said. "But I really don't want to talk about it right now. I'd rather take you to dinner and think of something else to talk about."

They had dinner at Michelle's favorite restaurant and despite both of their dark moods; they found themselves having a good time. They returned to Michelle's house and she put on a pot of coffee.

"Thank you so much for tonight, Jack. I thought I'd just cry all day, but you saved me from myself. When does it end, Jack? When does it stop hurting?"

"Never," he told her honestly. "It gets easier, but it never really stops. Some days are worse than others: the anniversary, your wedding anniversary, his birthday. Teri's been gone almost seven years and I still dread her birthday," he stopped and shook his head.

"Other people don't understand it, do they?"

"No, that's part of what makes it so hard. Unless you can find someone like you, you're out there all alone. As much as I cared for both Audrey and Kate, neither of them really understood me."

"I'm glad we understand each other and I'm glad you came here today. I think tonight was good for both of us. When are you going back to D.C.?"

"Not until Sunday. Tomorrow I'm babysitting for Kim and Chase. Kim needs some time to put the finishing touches on the baby's room, so I said I'd take Angela for the day. I think we're going to the zoo. Then Kim and Chase are going out tomorrow night and staying in the city over night. Do you have plans?"

"It's Friday; I have to work. I'm not doing anything in the evening."

"Well, why don't you leave work at a decent hour and come over for dinner and help me with Angela."

"That sounds like fun," Michelle said smiling.

Jack looked at his watch and was surprised by how late it was. "In fact, I should be getting back to Kim's now," he stopped for a moment and reached into the inside pocket of his jacket where he had put the letter from Tony. He took a breath as he took it out. "Michelle, I have something here for you from Tony. He asked me to deliver it to you."

"How long have you had this?"

"He gave it to me the day he came home from the hospital. He asked me not to tell you that I had it. He wanted it delivered today."

Michelle's hand shook as she took the envelope from Jack. She looked at her name on the front in Tony's familiar handwriting.

Jack stood to leave. "I'm going to go and let you read it privately."

Michelle nodded. She was so shocked that she couldn't think of anything to say.

"Are you going to be okay, Michelle?" Jack asked her.

"I think," she replied numbly. She knew the letter was going to make her cry and she had cried in front of Jack too many times already. She wanted him to stay but thought that it would be better if he left. "I'll call you tomorrow and let you know what time I'm coming over to Kim's house."

"That's fine. I'll see you then. If you need to talk before then, just call me."

She hugged him and thanked him and saw him out. After he left, she leaned heavily on the door and stared at the letter in her hand. She slowly made her way to the kitchen to get a fresh cup of coffee as if something in the coffee would give her the strength to read the letter. She finally took the letter and the coffee into the family room and sat in Tony's favorite chair. She often sat there as if it made her somehow closer to him.

She carefully opened the letter and removed the paper inside.

_My Darling,_

_The fact that you are reading this means that I left you a year ago today. I pray fervently that the worst is behind you and that the year has not been too difficult for you. I pray that you have moved on; that you have found a new love. I pray that he makes you happy and that your beautiful smile has returned to your face. I hope that you plan to have children together. You are such a special person. You were put on this earth to be something more important than a CIA agent. You were put here to be a wife and mother and to spread the love that you carry in your heart._

_Unfortunately, I know you too well and I fear that none of that has happened. I suspect that you have buried yourself in your work; that you work an insane number of hours every day. I know you don't work those hours because you enjoy it; you are trying to avoid the quiet of the house and the emptiness of our bed._

_Michelle, you have to stop. You have to move on. We simply weren't destined to spend twenty or thirty years together, but the years we had were beautiful. God has a higher purpose for us. You must believe that. He took me and left you behind for a reason. We don't necessarily understand the reason. I know, though, that He left you because He knew that I couldn't make it without you. I proved that while we were separated. You're strong, Michelle. You can do this. Know that I am with you every step of the way and draw strength from that. _

_So, fold this letter now and put it away. Get up tomorrow and rethink your future. It's no longer our future, Honey, it's your future. Give a dazzling smile to everyone you meet and let them know the old Michelle is back at last. Follow your heart, Michelle. It led you to me and it will lead you to a new love. He may be someone you haven't met yet or he could be someone you've known for years. It doesn't matter as long as you find each other and make a new life together. _

_I love you, my darling, and I will love you forever. Don't give up hope. We will meet again, but I pray that it will be many, many years in the future after you've lived a long and happy and fulfilling life._

_Your adoring husband,_

_Tony_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Michelle awoke the next morning feeling tired, almost hung over. She had read Tony's letter more times than she could count and finally fell asleep with the bedroom light on and the letter in her hand. She got in the shower and let cool water pour over her face hoping to take the puffiness away. It was going to be a long day. She was happy that she had agreed to help Jack baby-sit; at least it gave her something to do tonight.

The day dragged by at CTU. She called Jack and told him to expect her around 6pm and found herself checking her watch five or six times an hour. The hands on the clock finally arrived at 5 o'clock and she packed up to go. As she walked to her car, she realized that she couldn't remember the last time she had left CTU in the daylight. It felt good, almost liberating.

The ride to Kim and Chase's house was slow at rush hour. Although it was probably only a 20 mile ride, the traffic made it an hour trip. Michelle fussed with the radio station and checked the time on the clock and despite moving at a snail's pace, she found herself smiling at the thought of spending the evening with Jack and Angela.

Jack was playing on the floor with Angela when the doorbell rang. Angela wriggled out of Jack's arms and ran toward the door.

"Grandpa, it's Aunt Chelle! It's Aunt Chelle!" she squealed.

"I know," he said as he got up and followed her to the door. "Hang on, kiddo. I've got to unlock the door."

Three and a half year old Angela was already hanging on the doorknob by the time Jack got to the door. Jack unlocked and opened the door and Angela flew into Michelle's arms.

"Hey, Munchkin!" Michelle said as she caught the little girl. "I haven't seen you in a while. You've gotten so big!"

"Grandpa says you came over to play with us," Angela told her.

Michelle smiled at Jack. "That's what I'm here for," Michelle replied. "What are we going to play?"

Angela took Michelle's hand and headed for to the family room. At the same time she began to detail her plans for the evening including the fact that Jack had promised to get pizza for dinner. Michelle nodded her head in amusement and agreed with the toddler as they walked.

Kim and Chase came into the family room all dressed and ready for their night in the city. Kim started talking to Michelle, but Chase interrupted.

"Honey, we've got to go. We're going to be late for our dinner reservation," he said.

"Oh, I didn't realize how late it was!" Kim said as she looked at her watch. "Daddy, thank you for watching Angela," she said as she kissed him. "You better keep a close eye on Dad and Angela, Michelle. They make a lot of mischief together."

Michelle laughed and said she would do her best as Kim and Chase walked out the door.

Once in the car, Chase looked at Kim and smiled. "So, Michelle is helping your Dad watch Angela?" he said laughing.

Kim laughed, too. "He told me this afternoon. He said Michelle didn't have plans so she was coming over to help him."

"Have either of them figured out that they're in love?"

"They're clueless, Chase! I'm not sure why. It's so obvious to the rest of us and they still don't get it."

"Well, if they're lucky, they'll figure it out tonight."

"If that's the case, I guess we better not come home early or we might catch them in a compromising position!" Kim said. They both laughed as they drove off.

Both Jack and Michelle found themselves having fun as they played with Angela and ate pizza. After dinner Angela wanted to watch a movie so Jack made a deal with her.

"Okay, Pumpkin, I'll give you a bath and then we'll watch a movie. When the movie is over, you get two stories and then you go to bed." Angela agreed to the deal as long as the movie included a snack.

"She's three and she negotiates like a defense attorney!" Jack whispered to Michelle as he carried Angela to the bathroom.

Michelle got the snack together and put the movie in the DVD player while Jack gave Angela a bath. The two emerged from the bathroom a half hour later. Michelle took one look at them and began laughing uncontrollably.

"Who took a bath?" she asked. Angela was dressed in pajamas, her freshly washed hair neatly combed. Jack, on the other hand, looked like he had just been pulled from a swimming pool. His hair was partially wet and standing straight up. His shirt was all wet down the left side and his jeans had large wet spots on them. He had taken his shoes and socks off and was walking in his bare feet. "Is there any damage in the bathroom?" she asked only half joking.

"It's a little wet," he said sheepishly.

"Why don't you go put on some dry clothes? Angela and I will clean up the bathroom. Then we can all watch the movie."

Jack handed Angela over to Michelle with a smile. Angela and Michelle returned to the family room first and had settled in on the sofa to watch the movie when Jack came back.

"Did I miss anything?" he asked as if he was really interested in "The Little Mermaid."

"No, it just started," Michelle answered. "Sit down and watch."

Jack grabbed a handful of pretzels and the beer that Michelle put out for him and sat on a nearby chair.

"No, Grandpa!" Angela exclaimed. "You have to sit over here with us. When I watch a movie with Mommy and Daddy, we all sit on the sofa."

"I'm sorry, I'll move over there," Jack said as he sat on the sofa. "Is that better?"

"Yes," Angela said as she cuddled up on his lap, "but Daddy does this." She took Jack's arm and put it over Michelle's shoulders. "Now you need to move over a little, Aunt Chelle."

Michelle smiled as she scooted over closer to Jack. "Am I in the right spot?"

"That's it!" Angela said happily.

The movie ended and Jack and Michelle each read Angela a story. She finally brushed her teeth and they tucked her into bed. Jack was giving her one last drink of water and a final goodnight kiss. "Grandpa," Angela said, "I had fun tonight. Can you and Aunt Chelle baby-sit again sometime?"

"I'll have to talk to Aunt Chelle about that. Check with me in the morning."

Jack turned on the nightlight and left the room. Michelle was straightening up the family room and putting dishes in the dishwasher.

"I think she might be down for the night," Jack said with a smile. "Do you have to go right now or would you like a glass of wine?"

"Wine would be great. I'm not in any real hurry to get home to an empty house."

Jack opened a bottle of wine and poured two glasses. Michelle sat back down on the sofa in the same spot where she sat to watch the movie. Jack thought about sitting down next to her. He liked being close to her. He wasn't sure what it was, but he liked the warmth. At first he thought that he just missed Audrey, but this was different. This wasn't the same feeling that he got when he was with Audrey. He wasn't sure what stopped him, but he suddenly decided that it would be better if he sat in the chair he had chosen earlier.

Michelle watched Jack anxiously as he sat down in the chair. She mentally breathed a sigh of relief. She was afraid that he was going to sit on the sofa next to her. Well, part of her was afraid. The other part wished that he would. She wasn't quite sure what to make of the feeling. Jack was a good friend, probably her best friend, and nothing more. But the way they were sitting earlier, so close together on the sofa, was nice. It felt good. Jack's body was warm, so noticeably warm that she found herself feeling flushed. She knew at times that he was looking at her. Once or twice she looked back and smiled but the other times she simply feigned interest in the movie and continued to watch the television screen.

Now they sat a few feet apart and were enveloped by an awkward silence.

"Angela's a wonderful child," Michelle finally said breaking the silence. "Kim and Chase are doing a great job raising her. You must be proud of them."

Jack nodded. He was grateful for something to talk about. "Kim didn't get her child rearing skills from me, that's for sure. But you're right, they're doing a marvelous job and with no help from Angela's mother."

"Does she ever come by to see Angela?"

"No, Chase had a lawyer contact her a couple of months ago. She's giving up all custody of Angela. Kim is in the process of adopting her."

"That's wonderful for Angela. But I don't understand how her mother could possibly abandon her. She's such a joy. I'd love to have a beautiful, healthy child like Angela and that woman just up and abandons her." Michelle shook her head. "I don't understand it."

Jack shrugged, "Me either. She's precious. I adore her." He finished his wine and picked up the bottle to refill it. "More?" he asked Michelle.

"No, I have to drive home, but help yourself. You just have to make it safely upstairs," she said with a smile.

They sat in awkward silence again for a few minutes when Michelle finally made a big deal of looking at her watch and acting surprised at how late it was. "I really have to go," she said. "This is going to sound crazy, Jack, but I had a great time tonight."

"I'm glad you did. Angela did, too. She wants us to baby-sit again sometime."

"I'd love to. I'm sure we'll be in touch," she said knowing full well that they never went more than a few days without a phone call or an email. "Let me know when you'll be in LA again and we'll plan on it."

"I'll be back in a few weeks when the baby is born. Maybe we can do it then. I'm sure Kim and Chase would appreciate the help."

"Good, I'll plan to see you then," she said as she planted a soft kiss on his cheek. "Have a good trip back to D.C." They hugged gently and Jack watched Michelle walk to her car. He continued to watch as she drove down the street until her taillights were no longer visible from his vantage point.

Three weeks later, Jack was back in Washington taking his early morning run in the park when his phone rang. It was barely daylight and his watch said 5:40am. Calls at this hour tended to be bad, but Jack was expecting, praying for this one to be good. He stopped running and took the phone from the holder that he had clipped to the waistband of his running shorts.

"Daddy," said the happy voice on the other end. "Congratulations, you have a grandson!"

"A boy! It's a boy? Is he alright? Are you alright?" Even without answers he knew that everything was fine. Kim's happy voice told him all he needed to know.

"We're both fine. Chase is holding him right now. He's beautiful, Dad."

"He looks like you, Jack," Chase said loudly enough for Jack to hear.

"Tell Chase that I'm sorry," Jack laughed in return. "How big is he? When was he born?"

Kim gave Jack all of the details as he walked leisurely back to his house. He didn't need to finish running this morning. He was on such an adrenaline high that he didn't need the endorphins produced by running to get him ready for the day.

"We've been pretty busy at work this week, but I should be able to get to LA this weekend. I can't wait to see him. I love you, Sweetheart," Jack told her. The smile on his face was so big he felt like the Cheshire Cat but he suddenly felt it fade a bit. He felt tears welling in his eyes and his voice cracked. "You're Mom would be so happy right now. Somewhere, Honey, she's watching you and smiling. That little guy has got a special guardian angel watching him. You know that don't you?"

"Oh, Daddy, I wish she could be here. I need her so much right now."

"Me, too, Baby. I'll see you soon." Jack wiped away tears as he took out his key and opened the front door of his Georgetown brownstone.

Jack arranged to fly into LA on the first flight he could get Saturday morning. He called Michelle and asked her to pick him up at the airport. She was happy to do it. He spent the rest of the week trying to focus on his work with little success. It seemed like every few minutes his mind would wander to Kim and his new grandson, Jacob. Chase had emailed pictures and every time Jack sat down to use his computer, he pulled the pictures up to look at them again. He found himself just staring at them trying to take in the miracle of it all. His heart was filled with love for this baby that he hadn't even met.

One picture seemed to draw his attention more than the others. Michelle had stopped by the hospital to visit and Chase took a picture of her sitting next to Kim and holding Jacob. Jack looked at the picture again and again and at some point realized that it wasn't the baby or Kim that he was looking at. He was looking at Michelle. He was looking at how her hair cascaded over her shoulders. He was looking at the soft curve of her face as she smiled at the camera. He noticed how the light glinted off of her eyes. It suddenly struck him how really beautiful she was. Of course he knew that she was beautiful. He had known her for years and a man would have to be dead not to notice her good looks and attractive figure. But for almost as long as he had known her, she had belonged to someone else. Soon after he first met her she started dating Tony and a year later, they married. He had never really looked at her as a woman before.

Michelle sat in her office at CTU feeling as distracted as Jack. She was staring at her calendar; counting the days until Saturday. For once she found herself looking forward to the upcoming weekend. That was unusual. She usually dreaded weekends. During the week she could bury herself in work, but weekends were long and quiet and boring and she had come to hate them. She never looked forward to the weekend any more. Not like she did when she and Tony were together. Back then weekends were special. It was their time to sleep in and relax or go to the beach or play some tennis or do whatever they pleased. Weekends were wonderful with Tony.

She wasn't sure why she was so excited about this weekend. She wasn't doing anything special. Saturday afternoon she would pick Jack up at the airport and take him to Kim's house. He hadn't asked her, but she was going to offer to take him back to the airport on Sunday night. What was so special about that? Why was seeing Jack so important to her? He wasn't coming to LA to see her. He was coming to see his new grandson. She probably wouldn't spend any real time with him, other than the time they were in the car together yet somehow the thought of just being with Jack for that little bit of time made her happy.

She had noticed a change in herself lately. Whenever the phone rang, she looked at the caller ID expectantly hoping that it was Jack. When she got on her computer, she immediately checked her email to see if he had sent any messages. Calls and emails from Jack gave her a fluttery feeling that she couldn't explain. At the same time, she was also a little concerned about her feelings for Jack. He was a good friend and he had been there for her whenever she needed him. She had been careful not to become too dependent on him. Now she was beginning to worry that she was becoming too attached. Jack had moved on to a life 3000 miles away. He left his old life behind for a lot of reasons. Michelle reminded herself that she was part of his old life; the part he was trying to forget. If she got too attached, she was just going to get hurt. She wasn't part of his new life. She needed to keep it all in perspective; she could care about Jack, but she couldn't let herself fall in love with him.

Saturday afternoon Michelle strolled along the airport concourse waiting for Jack's plant to arrive. She had checked the flight status twice before leaving home and knew that his flight was scheduled to land on time, but she got to the airport a half hour early just in case. Now she was stuck waiting. Oh well, there were lots of nice shops to browse so she could easily kill the time.

One of the first shops she found was a tobacconist's store. She inhaled deeply as she neared the shop, enjoying the smell of fine tobacco. Tony occasionally smoked a good cigar out on their patio on a cool evening. If she closed her eyes she could still see him there. The image faded quickly. Recently she found that her memories of Tony, although still clear as a bell, didn't haunt her the way they had in the past. She remembered him lovingly but memories seemed to be shorter, less poignant. As she inhaled the fragrance of the tobacco, her thoughts of Tony were replaced by ones of Jack. She decided that since he was a new grandfather, he needed a congratulatory cigar. The shopkeeper helped her with her selection and placed it in a thin, metal tube tied with a blue ribbon. She slipped her purchase into her purse and left the shop. A quick glance at the arrivals monitor told her that Jack's plane had just landed.

Michelle set off find a spot where she would have a good view of the arriving passengers. Her heart seemed to be pounding at breakneck speed and she wasn't sure why. I have to stop feeling this way, she told herself. She took some deep breaths and tried to get control of her emotions. She spotted Jack in the crowd and called his name. Jack was not someone given to big smiles, but as he looked up, he gave her a bright smile. He worked his way out of the crowd of passengers to get to Michelle. As he reached her, he hugged her tightly and hissed her cheek.

"How was your flight?" Michelle asked him.

"Long and boring and the food sucked. Let's go get some lunch," Jack suggested.

"You're here to see your grandson, not get lunch with me," Michelle reminded him.

"Jacob's not going anywhere. I'm starved and you did me a huge favor by picking me up so I didn't have to go through all the bother of renting a car. The least I can do is take you to lunch. Have you eaten yet?"

"Actually, I haven't. I'd love some lunch."

"Good, how about Travis' on the water? I love that place. It's on the way to Chase and Kim's house."

"Sounds wonderful," Michelle replied.

The outdoor café that Jack had chosen was perfect and lunch was delicious. Michelle waited until dessert to present Jack with the cigar she bought him. He closed his eyes and smiled as he ran it under his nose.

"This is wonderful, Michelle. Thank you," he said sincerely as he kissed her cheek. He slipped the cigar into the inside pocket of his jacket. "I'm saving this until this evening. I'll pour a glass of brandy and take it out onto Kim's porch."

Jack paid the bill and the two got up to leave. They crossed the wide brick patio and had to descend several steep steps to get down to street level. Jack went first and then reached back to take Michelle's hand and help her down the steps. As she reached the bottom step, she expected him to let go of her hand but noticed that he continued to hold it for a few more seconds than was actually necessary. She looked up at him and noticed that his eyes were fixed on her. Jack let go of her hand and the two walked the half block to the car. As they got into the car Michelle wondered if she had just imagined that Jack was holding her hand and staring at her or if it really happened. She knew that she was probably making something out of nothing, but at the moment her stomach was doing back flips.

_Hey out there, if you've got an extra second or two, please click your submit review button and let me know you're still reading. I accept anonymous reviews. Thanks!_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Jack took the red-eye late Sunday night from LA and arrived in Washington just in time to go to work Monday morning. He should have been exhausted from the whirlwind trip and he knew that at some point the jet lag would catch up with him, but at the moment an adrenaline rush was keeping him going. He had enjoyed every moment that he spent with his new grandson and, of course, Angela was always a joy. On top of it all, he had the chance to spend some time with Michelle. She even offered to take him back to the airport on Sunday night. He had protested. Chase was planning to take him to the airport, he told her. But Michelle wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. Chase and Kim need to get some rest, she told Jack. She had no plans and plenty of time to take him to the airport. It was finally settled. Michelle picked him up at 9 o'clock and drove him to the airport.

Jack practically bounced into the office giving everyone a cheery 'hello.' He was always friendly but generally he was more reserved. He made his way into his own office and promptly unpacked three new pictures for his desk. The only picture he had ever kept on his desk was a small one of himself with Teri and Kim. To that he now added a picture of himself holding Angela and Jacob, a picture of Kim and Chase and the two children and the picture of Kim and Michelle with Jacob that Chase had taken at the hospital. He stepped back to admire the pictures when Secretary Heller walked in.

"Ah, the new grandfather comes armed with pictures," he said jovially. Heller put on his reading glasses to take a closer look. "Good looking family, Jack. I can see why you're so proud." Jack beamed and before he knew it, his office was full of coworkers looking at the pictures.

Once out of earshot, Jack's office assistant commented, "That new grandson sure has changed his disposition."

"I noticed," said another. "I wish the kid had been born a long time ago. Maybe Jack would have been easier to work with."

Audrey heard the exchange and said nothing. She wasn't so sure that becoming a grandfather had nearly as much to do with Jack's sunny disposition as everyone else did. When she looked at the pictures, she took quick notice of the picture of Michelle. It reaffirmed to her that Michelle had a more prominent place in Jack's life than he was willing to admit.

Jack had no reason to travel to the west coast in the next few weeks, but he and Michelle stayed in close contact. Emails were exchanged daily and each found themselves looking for excuses to call the other. Neither could quite explain their relationship. They knew they were more than friends, or maybe, just friends in a different sense. They understood each other like no one else that either of them knew.

Even Jack, who had been widowed for over seven years, now felt for the first time as if he had someone who really understood him. Neither Kate nor Audrey ever really did. When Jack was sad on Teri's birthday each year, they couldn't understand why. They were both more concerned that he still had feelings for Teri and wondered how they could make him "get over it" rather than understanding that Jack was as "over it" as he ever would be. Teri's birthday would always be sad for him. He shouldn't be expected to stop loving Teri, but that love was different than the love he had for them. He had tried to explain it, but it was useless. Instead, he tried just to stay silent on the subject or keep to himself on days that had particularly sad memories attached to them.

It was late evening about three months after Jacob was born. Jack stood in his kitchen in front of the open refrigerator door as if expecting something fully cooked and ready to be eaten to jump out into his hands. Since nothing did, he pulled out some deli ham and sliced cheese and a sub roll that was starting to feel a little stale. Once he added pickles and onions and hot mustard and maybe some roasted peppers it would be an okay sandwich, he told himself hopefully. It would also be messy, so he decided to eat it over the kitchen sink. That also meant that he had one less plate to wash. He hunched over the sink to take the first bite when the phone rang.

"Son of a bitch!" he exclaimed. He looked at the caller ID before answering and his mood changed immediately when he saw that the call was from Michelle's phone at CTU. "Hi," he said in a warm tone. "Isn't it time for you to go home?"

"In a few minutes," she told him. "I just got off the phone with Brad Hammond and I wanted to call you."

"Why? Did he finally resign?" Jack asked sarcastically.

"No, but he's sending me to Langley for a conference in a couple of weeks."

Jack could feel himself smile. "You'll be in Virginia? That's great. How long will you be here?"

"I'll get in Wednesday evening. The conference is Thursday and Friday. I was thinking about taking the day off on Monday. That way I could do some sight seeing in D.C. over the weekend and not have to come back until Monday."

"That sounds like fun. I'd be happy to be your tour guide, if…ah…if that's okay with you," Jack suggested tentatively.

"It would be more than okay. I would love it." Jack knew she was smiling; he could hear it in her voice.

They both counted the days until they would see each other but at the same time, tried to deny that they were excited about the prospect of spending time together. Michelle arrived Wednesday as planned. Unfortunately, Jack had a dinner meeting with Secretary Heller and the head of Homeland Security which prevented him from picking Michelle up at the airport.

She took a cab from the airport to her hotel and was surprised to find a vase of cut flowers waiting in her room for her. The card read: Sorry I couldn't pick you up at the airport. Looking forward to seeing you, Jack. Michelle held her face close to the bouquet and inhaled deeply. She couldn't help but smile.

Michelle went from meeting to meeting on Thursday. It was lunchtime before she got a chance to check her voicemail. There were two messages from Chloe and one from Jack. She tried to return Jack's call, but his secretary said that he would be in a meeting for much of the afternoon. She would tell him that Michelle called.

Michelle was back in meetings until late afternoon when they had an hour break before they met again for a working dinner. Once again Jack had left a message for her. This time when she called him back, he was sitting at his desk waiting for her call. He was disappointed that she would be working through dinner.

"How about if I come over around 8 o'clock and we can go out and get a drink," he suggested.

"I wish I could," Michelle told him. "I'm sitting down this evening with the CTU directors from New York and Chicago to try and work out a joint implementation of some of the Homeland Security initiatives."

Jack tried to hide the disappointment in his voice. "Of course," he said. "This is a good chance for the three of you to get together. What does your schedule look like for tomorrow?"

"Same as today. We have meetings all morning and afternoon and we're working through both lunch and dinner. The meetings don't officially end until 7:30 tomorrow night." She anticipated that he was going to suggest they have drinks tomorrow evening. "I'd love to see you tomorrow evening, but with the time change, I'm really tired. Maybe it would be best if I just made an early night of it tomorrow and we could get an early start on Saturday."

"Yeah…uh…yeah, I…uh, guess that would work best," Jack tried to sound like he agreed.

"Jack, I'm sorry," Michelle said sincerely. "I'm not trying to blow you off or anything. I'm just tired. You're used to traveling, I'm not. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings? How about if I call you when I get back to the hotel tomorrow night and we can decide what we're doing Saturday?"

They agreed to talk Friday evening and make plans for Saturday. Jack hung up with the feeling that he had acted like a petulant child. He knew Michelle wasn't trying to hurt him. He just wanted to see her so much. He went to bed that night and slept poorly. He wasn't sure why Michelle had become so important to him, but he found himself hoping that she felt the same way.

Although neither of them thought it would, Saturday finally arrived. Jack picked Michelle up at her hotel at 9:30. They spent the day like average tourists, walking miles from monument to monument. They got lunch from a hot dog vendor on the Mall and ate sitting in the grass under a tree. Then it was back to sightseeing: the First Ladies' gowns at the National History Museum, the Lunar Rover at the Air and Space Museum, the precious gems exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. By the time Jack dropped Michelle back at her hotel almost 12 hours later, they were both exhausted. They sat in the hotel lounge and had a drink before saying goodnight.

Once back in her room, Michelle undressed and stepped into the shower, feeling as if she had month's worth of road grime to strip off. The day had been typical Washington D.C. summer: hazy, hot and humid. You really can't understand what humidity is until you've been in D.C. on a July day, Michelle thought. It felt so good to be clean that after she dried off, she didn't bother to dress before collapsing into bed.

She lay between the sheets enjoying their coolness. She realized that it was the first time since Tony died that she slept naked. Today was also the first time since Tony died that she had really been happy, that she had smiled and really meant it. In fact, she had smiled all day. No, correction, she and Jack had smiled all day. And they had laughed. She had never heard Jack laugh so hard. It was a fun day and she knew that she should be tired, but she wasn't. Her brain was going a mile a minute and she kept replaying the day in her mind.

Jack picked her up again the next morning for breakfast. They decided that neither was ready for another hot day in the city, so they got in the car and headed for Annapolis, Maryland. They arrived an hour later in the quaint, waterfront town. Jack found parking on a side street and they got out of the car. Although it was every bit as hot as it had been the day before, the breeze off the Chesapeake Bay made it feel cooler and less humid. They walked along stopping at the dozens of historic sites that peppered the streets of Maryland's capital.

It was mid afternoon when they saw an ice cream parlor and decided to stop. The tables outside of the storefront were all full, so they strolled a couple of blocks looking for someplace to sit down.

"Over there, Jack," Michelle said as she pointed with her free hand. "We can sit on that stone wall over there."

Jack shrugged. "That'll work," he agreed.

Jack checked the traffic and, finding it momentarily clear, he took Michelle's hand and the two hurriedly crossed the street. They reached the wall moments later. Jack took Michelle's ice cream cone so that she could climb into the wall. Once she was situated, he handed it back and climbed up beside her. They sat for a while eating ice cream and enjoying the sunshine and talking about what sites they still wanted to see and where they might end up eating dinner.

Jack hopped down first, and then reached out to help Michelle. He put his hands on her waist as she leaned forward and put her hands on his shoulders. Their eyes locked as he eased her down and set her on the ground a foot or so below. They both stood still for a few moments; Jack's hands still resting on Michelle's waist, her hands still resting on his shoulders. Neither of them seemed to be breathing or blinking.

"So, ah…you…ah wanted to see the…ah…the pottery shop a couple of streets over, right?" Jack stammered as he took a small step away and let his hands fall away from Michelle's waist.

"Yeah, ah…I did. If…if that's okay with you," Michelle said tentatively as her hands fell to her sides as well.

"That's fine," Jack answered quickly. "It…it looked like a nice shop."

They walked away in an awkward silence. They had talked and laughed all day just like yesterday, up until now, that is. Now they were both silent; neither knowing what to make of what had just happened. The silence lasted for ten or fifteen minutes then the conversation finally returned to normal, or to near normal. Michelle still felt as if they were both more reserved than they had been earlier in the day. Wine with dinner loosened both of them up again.

They left the restaurant as the western sky was becoming red with the setting sun. Jack held the door for Michelle as they stepped into the waning light. Their hands brushed and wordlessly they allowed their fingers to entwine. Neither dared look at the other. They walked silently to the car, both very aware of the feel of their hands together and the closeness of their bodies.

Jack parked the car in front of Michelle's hotel. They passed the lounge as they entered and Jack suggested a drink, but Michelle graciously declined. So they took the elevator to the seventh floor. Michelle opened the door to her room and they both entered.

"Your flight leaves at 9:30 tomorrow morning, right?" Jack asked her

"That's right," she agreed.

"So, I'll pick you up about 7:30. That gives us enough time to get some breakfast and you'll still be on time for you flight."

"Jack, you don't have to take me to the airport. I can get a cab."

"I want to take you to the airport, Michelle. I don't get to see you that often."

"You're so sweet," she smiled. "I had a wonderful time this weekend, Jack. You can be my tour guide any time."

She stepped forward to hug him. Jack reached for her and pulled her into his arms. It wasn't their usual hug and Michelle knew it immediately. She could feel Jack's hands sliding slowly up and down her back. She responded by putting one of her hands on the back of his neck and pulling his head down toward her face. Their lips touched, softly at first and then a little more intensely. Jack pulled away and stepped back.

"I…I, ah, guess I'll see you…ah…in the morning," Jack stammered.

"Yeah," Michelle answered looking at the floor.

Jack looked at her for a moment and gently ran the back of his forefinger along her cheek. He swallowed hard as he left the room and walked toward the elevator. Michelle watched him push the elevator button, wait a few seconds and then disappear into the elevator. She squeezed her eyes shut for a second and then moved back into her room. She leaned heavily on the door as she closed it. Her heart was pounding in her throat. She felt the same way earlier today when Jack helped her down from the wall and again when they held hands as they walked to the car. Michelle grabbed her purse from the table where she had dropped it. She rummaged through it to find her cell phone. She retrieved the phone from the bottom of the bag, flipped it open and dialed Jack's number.

Jack had just reached his car when his phone rang. He pulled it from his belt and answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Yes," he said absently.

"Jack," Michelle said.

Her voice brought him back to reality. "I'm here," he said.

"Where are you?"

"I just got to the car. Why?"

"Jack, I think we need to talk. I'm not sure what's happening between us, Jack, but I think we should talk about it," her voice was quivering as if she was about to cry.

"I think you're right," he said softly in return. "Would you like me to come back upstairs?"

"I wish you would," she answered.

With that Jack turned around and went back into the hotel. He crossed the lobby in four long strides and stepped into the first available elevator. Once on the seventh floor he nearly ran to Michelle's room. She was standing in the doorway waiting for him. She backed into the room. Jack followed her and closed the door behind him. As he did, he reached out for her.

"Oh, Jack," she whispered in a soft, sexy voice.

He again pulled her into his arms, but this time more urgently than the first. Her face was immediately turned up to his. He noticed that her lips were parted. He pressed his mouth to hers and eagerly pushed his tongue into her mouth. Without hesitation, she opened her mouth a little wider to let his tongue explore.

Their kisses became more and more passionate; each of them letting out occasional quiet moans. Jack carefully backed Michelle over to a love seat. He turned them around and sat down, pulling Michelle onto his lap.

"I've wanted to kiss you for so long," Jack whispered.

"I know. I've wanted it, too," Michelle answered between kisses.

They continued to kiss. Jack slowly moved from Michelle's mouth down her neck to the base of her throat. She groaned softly and he could feel her pulling away. She slipped off of his lap and onto the seat next to him.

"What's wrong?" he asked breathlessly.

"Jack, I'm so scared," she answered her arms still loosely draped around his neck.

"Scared of what, Baby?" he asked as he kissed her forehead.

"Scared of losing you."

"You're not going to lose me, Michelle. I'm not going anywhere."

"Jack, you're my best friend. If this relationship doesn't work, I'll lose you."

"I know that, but if we don't try, Michelle, we'll never know if the relationship has a chance. I think we owe it to ourselves to try. I've spent months trying to tell myself that we were just friends and that was enough. But I've been lying to myself. I'm falling in love with you, Michelle and I'm powerless to stop myself."

"We live 3000 miles apart. How can we possibly make this work?"

"I don't know, Michelle. You're right, practically speaking, this doesn't make any sense. But it makes sense in my heart and apparently, in your heart, too or you wouldn't have called me back here tonight. Let's give it a chance, Sweetheart. If it works then one of us has to move. I wouldn't object to moving back to LA if that's what makes us both happy. Until then, we would see each other as often as possible. Let's see what happens."

Michelle smiled and leaned back into him eager for more kisses. Jack was happy to oblige as he allowed his mouth to travel over her face and neck. They kissed for a long time taking occasional breaks to catch their breath. Jack was tenderly stroking Michelle's face when he noticed tears in her eyes.

"Come here," he whispered as he drew her into his arms.

Michelle pulled away and stood up. The tears now streaked her face and she walked away from Jack to try and regain control.

"When Tony died," she started, her voice quivering, "I never thought I'd ever love anyone again. I never thought that I'd ever let another man hold me or kiss me or make love to me. Now here we are and I'm so confused. It feels so good but I'm so scared."

Jack stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders. "I know, Sweetheart. I felt the same way when Teri died. It's natural for you to feel that way. But remember, Michelle, you're still alive. You didn't die when Tony did. You're a healthy, vibrant woman and it's normal for you to want to be loved. We're going to take this slowly. I want to know that you're comfortable with whatever direction the relationship is taking." He turned her around and looked deeply into her eyes. "We don't need to move forward until you are absolutely sure that you're ready."

"Jack, I don't know when I'm going to be ready to make love."

"I'm willing to wait, Honey. When the time is right, you'll know," he said softly. He kissed her for emphasis. "I don't want to rush it. I want to know that, if and when we take that step, you're ready."

"Thank you," Michelle said as she put her arms around Jack's neck. He pressed a gentle kiss into her hair.

"It's getting late," Jack said. "I'm going to go home so both of us can get a little sleep. It's going to be morning before we know it. I'll be back to pick you up at 7:30"

Michelle looked at her watch. "It's almost 2 o'clock, Jack. You're only going to get a couple of hours of sleep before you have to come and pick me up. That's silly. Why don't I just call a cab? That way you can sleep in a little before you go to work."

"Are you kidding? I don't know when I'll get to see you again. I don't care if I stay up all night; I'm taking you to the airport."

Michelle looked shyly at the floor. "There are two beds in the room, Jack. You can stay here if you like."

Jack shook his head. "If I stay here, we both know what will happen. We're not ready for that, Honey." He kissed her softly. "I'm going home. I'll see you in the morning."

They held each other close and kissed goodnight before Jack left the hotel for the second time that night. Michelle watched from her window as Jack went to his car. He looked up toward her room and blew her a kiss. This relationship felt different from the others he had been in since Teri died. He had cared deeply for both Audrey and Kate and, at the height of each of those relationships, considered the possibility of spending the rest of his life with them. But even before he kissed her, Jack knew that his relationship with Michelle was different. He felt closer to her than he had to either Kate or Audrey. He recognized a bond that didn't exist with either of them. He wanted this relationship to work far more than he had any in the past.

Michelle stood at the window until long after Jack had gone. She finally stepped away and allowed the curtains to fall back into place. She again smelled the flowers that Jack had sent her and smiled. Her emotions flipped randomly from excitement to fear to confusion to happiness. She got ready for bed and curled up under the soft covers and found herself wide awake and staring into the dark room.

"Tony," she whispered out loud to the darkness, "I hope you're listening. I need your help. I don't know what to do. You told me to follow my heart and that's what I'm trying to do. The problem is that it's leading me somewhere I never thought it would take me. I'm falling in love with Jack. I've always liked Jack and I've always cared for him but I never imagined that I could love him. Now I find that I'm not happy unless I'm with him. It's the same way I felt when you and I started dating. I was scared then, too, but not as scared as I am now. I wish there was a way to know that I'm doing the right thing. I wish there was a way for me to know that you approve. In a way, I feel like I'm cheating on you with your best friend."

Michelle eventually fell into a fitful sleep. Vivid dreams swirled wildly through her brain. In one she was kissing Tony in a bombed out hallway at CTU. Tony was suddenly replaced by Jack and they were standing in the hotel room. In another, she and Jack were standing in Annapolis staring into each other's eyes and again, the scene changed. Now she was gazing into Tony's eyes in the middle of their wedding. Image after image flashed like a disconnected movie and Michelle woke repeatedly. She kept checking the clock wishing that morning would come.

It was still dark outside and she had barely gotten any sleep but she couldn't stand the dreams any more. She switched on the light and got up to get the book she was reading from her suitcase. As she reached into her bag, her fingertips brushed a piece of paper that she had packed between layers of clothing. She had almost forgotten that it was there. She closed her eyes and pulled out the paper. She knew every word on it having read it at least a thousand times. It was the letter Tony had written to her. Her eyes scanned the page stopping on the fourth paragraph:

_Follow your heart, Michelle. It led you to me and it will lead you to a new love. He may be someone you haven't met yet or he could be someone you've known for years. It doesn't matter as long as you find each other and make a new life together._

_Someone you've known for years… _

Then she remembered Tony talking to Jack shortly before he died. His voice was barely audible at the time and he stopped repeatedly to breath, but right now she could hear him clear as a bell. "Promise me you'll take care of Michelle for me."

Tears filled her eyes. Tony knew all along. He knew that she and Jack belonged together. The tears spilled over onto her cheeks and she was filled with a sense of calm and relief.

"Thank you," she whispered into the air. "Thank you, Tony."

She turned out the light and went back to bed. She fell asleep almost instantly and slept peacefully for the hour and a half until her alarm went off signaling the start of a new day and maybe, she thought, maybe a new life.


	9. Chapter 9

_Hi and thanks again for the reviews. I got less reviews for the last chapter than I did for any of the others and I wasn't sure why. _

_Although the reviews with regards to my writing have been positive, the Jack/Michelle plot has definitely gotten mixed reviews. Kita called it "abhorrent"; others seem to like it. I thought it was a different twist. I've written six other stories with happy endings for Tony and Michelle. (Technically, Carnival Town was a Jack/Kate story but it had a happy ending for Tony/Michelle also.) So if you are in need of a happy ending for Tony and Michelle, try one of those and you'll end up with that warm, happy feeling that we all get when our favorite couple lives happily ever after._

_**Just a warning**, I gave this story an overall rating of T (that used to be PG-13). Well, plan on this chapter being M (or R in the old rating system). So don't say you haven't been warned! By the way, if you don't like the idea of Jack and Michelle together, you may want to stop reading now. Once again, don't say that I didn't warn you! _

Chapter 9

Michelle put her head back and let her body slide a little deeper into the Jacuzzi. The hot water bubbled around her neck and she closed her eyes enjoying the feeling. She rarely allowed herself such luxury. She and Tony had lived comfortably on two incomes, but once he went to prison and she was forced to make due on her own income, she had little left over for extravagances such as this. She had considered selling the house and buying a little condominium; that would free up several hundred dollars a month, but couldn't bring herself to sell the house that she and Tony had chosen so carefully and been so proud of. When she reserved the Jacuzzi suite at one of Washington D.C.'s top rated hotels, she rationalized it by telling herself that it was her Christmas gift to herself.

It was Friday, December 22nd and she had arrived in Washington late the night before. She got up this morning and went to a nearby salon for a manicure and pedicure and a facial. Now she was enjoying a bath and in an hour she would have to start getting ready for the Cabinet Christmas party at the White House. All of the cabinet members and their senior staff would be there. Jack had been invited and had asked her to come with him.

She had said "yes", of course. Any chance she had to spend time with Jack she took. She relished their time together. They hadn't had a lot of it. Since Michelle returned from Washington last summer, she and Jack had talked and emailed on almost a daily basis. Jack was in LA a few weeks later for Jacob's christening and he spent as much time as possible with Michelle. In September, he had a meeting with a defense contractor in San Francisco so Michelle met him there for the weekend. Then several weeks later, he had some meetings in St. Louis and again, Michelle took some time off and met him for a long weekend. Both times they had stayed in separate rooms. Jack was back in LA for Thanksgiving and they had dinner together at Kim and Chase's house. Now just a few days before Christmas, they would attend the White House party together tonight, spend tomorrow evening at a small private gathering at Secretary Heller's house and finally, fly to LA together on Christmas Eve. Jack had taken off the whole next week, so they would really be together for almost ten days and Michelle found herself as giddy as a schoolgirl at the prospect of spending that much time with him.

Michelle checked the time and decided that she should get out of the bath before she turned into a prune. She stepped from the bath and wrapped herself in a huge terry towel and spent the next couple of hours getting ready. She started by lotioning her body from head to toe. Then she put on her make up. She had been experimenting with make up for several days and finally came up with a combination that she thought looked both natural and sophisticated. Now it was time to do her hair. She had dried her hair with a diffuser so that it was full and curly. She pulled it into a ponytail at the nape of her neck and then into an exotic twist. She positioned corkscrew curls all around her face. She added long, dangling earrings and a strand of pearls around her neck. The whole look was sexy and romantic and she smiled knowing how good she looked.

Finally it was time to get dressed. She took off her robe and looked at herself in the full length mirror. She would be 35 next month and still had a fabulous figure. Not that she didn't work at it, she reminded herself. She went to the gym four days a week and watched her diet closely. Her arms and legs were solid but not muscular. Her stomach was tight and flat and her hips softly curved. Her breasts were small, but round and well shaped. She stepped into a pair of flesh colored lace panties and put on a matching strapless bra. She zipped herself into a strapless red gown just as Jack knocked on the door. She stepped into a pair of high-heeled, strappy sandals, straightened her gown and rearranged her curls for the hundredth time before she went to the door. Jack stood before her looking unbelievably handsome in his tuxedo.

"Oh, Sweetheart," he said as he held her at arms length for a moment to look at her. "You look gorgeous. I'm not sure I want to take you to a party looking this good. I'm afraid someone will steal you away from me."

"Not a chance," she said as she kissed him. "You can't get rid of me that easily. Do we have a few minutes? I bought a bottle of wine; maybe we could have a glass."

Jack looked at his watch and nodded. "We've got time. Secretary Heller invited us to ride in his limousine with him. He'll be here in about 20 minutes."

"That was nice of him," Michelle commented. "Is he taking a date?" The Secretary was widowed and had dated only occasionally over the past few years.

"He's taking Audrey," Jack told her.

"Why isn't Audrey taking Paul?" Michelle questioned him as she handed him the wine bottle and watched him open it.

"They separated again. This time she filed for divorce." Jack poured the wine into two glasses.

Michelle tried to hide her look of surprise. She turned her back to Jack pretending that she was fixing her hair in the mirror. "Does she want you back?" she asked with a pang of jealousy.

"I don't know," Jack told her honestly. "And I don't care. I've got you now and you're who I want to be with." He touched her shoulder and turned her around. "Honestly, Michelle. I haven't paid any attention to Audrey. I love you. I don't love her. I'm not sure I ever really did love her. I cared for her and, at the time, I thought I loved her, but I'm not sure that I ever did."

He handed her a glass and raised his in front of her. "To the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"Stop, Jack!" she giggled as she took a drink. She looked away embarrassed by the compliment.

"I'm serious," he said. He took her glass away from her and set it on a table, then he pulled her into his arms. "You are always beautiful, but tonight you are stunning. You're taking my breath away and every guy at the White House is going to be jealous and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it." He kissed her softly at first and then harder. She was groaning quietly when his phone rang.

"That's our ride, Sweetheart," he said as he pulled away slowly.

Michelle took a second to fix the lipstick that they had just smudged and to wipe some off of Jack's face. He helped her on with her coat and they went downstairs to the waiting limousine. Michelle was concerned about spending the evening with Audrey. She knew that she was the reason that Audrey broke up with Jack. It stood to reason that Audrey was going to try and win him back.

They stepped out into the cold December night. Michelle shivered and looked up at the banks of steel gray clouds that filled the sky.

"Snow clouds," Jack told her.

"Really?" Michelle replied giving them a second look. She was a southern California girl through and through and had never really seen snow clouds before. In fact, her only real experience with snow was when she and Tony had gone skiing a couple of times. "They look so menacing. I thought you said that they were only predicting a couple of inches."

"That's the prediction. The storm is coming up from the south and is expected to blow out over the ocean after we get a couple of inches. The cloud cover makes it look worse than it is."

"You'll be proud of me. I went out and bought boots and a winter jacket just for the occasion."

"That's probably a good idea. The snow is expected to melt pretty quickly, but it'll still be cold and wet tomorrow."

The evening at the White House was magical. Michelle felt like Cinderella at the ball except that she didn't have to look for her Prince Charming. She was on his arm all night. She realized after an hour or two that her concerns about Audrey were unfounded. Audrey was pleasant to both she and Jack but never made any attempt to monopolize Jack's time or draw his attention to her. Audrey eventually was able to get Michelle alone for a moment and took the opportunity to allay her fears.

"Michelle," she said, "I can imagine that this is a little uncomfortable for you."

"To be honest, Audrey, it is. I know you're separated from your husband again and it would be natural for you to try and rekindle your relationship with Jack. Obviously Jack and I have started our own relationship and I'm a little protective of that. But I also understand that you're with him five days a week at work and I'm 3000 miles away."

"You don't have to worry about me trying to get Jack back. He's incredible, Michelle. I know that. He is such a special person, but he loves you far more than he ever loved me. He is so much happier than he was when he and I were together. I would never try and interfere with your relationship. What you've got is really special. I just want the best for Jack and right now, I think you're what's best for him."

They all left the party together around midnight and stepped out onto the covered portico to get into the limousine. The snow had started falling. The bare trees were outlined in white against the dark sky and the snow had started to stick to the grass.

"Oh, it's beautiful!" Michelle exclaimed.

"Enjoy it while it lasts," Secretary Heller said cynically. "It's going to melt and tomorrow it'll be all dirty and slushy."

The ride back to the hotel was brief. Jack and Michelle asked Audrey and Secretary Heller to join them in the lounge for a drink, but they declined.

"I'd like to get home before the snow starts settling on the roads," Heller told them. "Since this is all supposed to melt tomorrow, I doubt the roads commission has any plans to plow it and it might get a little dicey over the next couple of hours."

The four said goodnight and Jack helped Michelle out of the car. They made their way up to her room.

"Do you have to go?" she asked. "I don't want you to stay if you think driving might get dangerous."

"I'm not in a hurry. I don't think the roads are going to get that bad and my SUV goes through the snow well."

"Would you like to finish the bottle of wine we started before the party?" Michelle asked hopefully. She wasn't ready for Jack to leave or for this perfect evening to end.

"Wine sounds great." Jack sat down on the sofa and watched while Michelle got the wine from the small refrigerator and poured two glasses.

"Did you have a good time tonight?" Jack asked her as Michelle handed him a glass and sat down next to him.

"It was incredible. I never imagined myself at a White House party. I felt like a princess."

"You look like a princess," he told her as he kissed her.

Michelle put her arms around him and returned the kiss. The intensity of the kisses slowly increased. Michelle moaned as Jack worked his way down her neck and then along her bare shoulders. He felt her shiver against him.

"Cold?" he asked.

"No," she answered with a smile, "you're tickling me." She could feel the excitement building in the pit of her stomach.

"Well, I won't kiss you there if it tickles," he told her. "I'll just kiss you here." He raised his head and began kissing her lips again. He tasted the wine on her lips and licked them hungrily wanting more. His tongue slipped into her mouth and he felt her sucking on it. He found the feeling exciting and he groaned so she would know that she was turning him on.

Michelle responded to his groans by caressing his face and running her hands through his hair. He pulled her up onto his lap while his hands traveled up and down her back.

"Jack," she whispered seductively as she pulled away after a long series of kisses. She leaned in and kissed him lightly as she got up off of his lap. She held both of his hands in hers. "It's time."

Jack raised his eyebrows questioningly.

She nodded. "You told me that I'd know when the time was right. Well, it's time." She tugged gently at Jack's hands and he stood up.

"Sweetheart," Jack started, "does this have anything to do with Audrey? If you're doing this because you're afraid that Audrey is going to try and get me back…"

Michelle silenced him by pressing her fingertips to his lips. "Audrey and I had a long talk. I'll admit, I was a little worried about her before the party tonight, but she was really straight forward with me and she assured me that she wouldn't interfere with our relationship. No, Jack, this isn't about Audrey. This is about you and me. We love each other and it's time to take the next step; unless, of course, you're not ready."

Jack pulled her close and kissed her to show her that he was very ready to further their relationship. Michelle walked over to the door and put the "Do Not Disturb" sign on it. She didn't want anyone interrupting their first night together. She turned out the light in the outer room and led the way to the bedroom where housekeeping had turned down the bed and turned on a dim light on the nightstand next to the bed.

Once in the bedroom she turned toward him and they began kissing again. Jack ran his hands down Michelle's back and gently cupped her bottom in his hands. He pulled her pelvis tightly against his and she could feel that he was already becoming excited. Michelle groaned and put her hands inside of his jacket and pushed it off of his shoulders. She then opened his tie and began unbuttoning his shirt.

Jack pulled back slightly. "Michelle, I'm not prepared for this. Do we need protection?"

"No," she whispered. "It's taken care of. I'm on the pill."

He gave her a surprised look. In a discussion a few months earlier she had mentioned that she used birth control pills while she and Tony were married, but had stopped taking them once they separated. "You little vixen," he teased her. "How long have you been planning this?"

"I wasn't planning it but I knew that it would eventually happen. I had a doctor's appointment so I asked her for a prescription. I hoped that it would allow us to be spontaneous," she told him feigning anger, "but you had to go and ruin the moment by asking questions."

"Let's see if we can get that moment back," he said in a soft, seductive whisper. He pulled her in close and kissed her deeply.

"That might work," she said back as the kiss broke.

She went back to unbuttoning his shirt and started to push it off of him. Jack stopped kissing her for a second to take off his cufflinks so that he could remove the shirt. Michelle ran her hands through the soft blond hair on his chest.

He caressed her face gently. "Take down your hair," he requested.

She raised her hands slowly to the back of her head and pulled out several hair pins. Her hair fell lazily down her neck. Jack put his hands in her hair and drew it out over her shoulders. There was something about running his fingers through her hair that made him crazy with desire. He had waited for this moment for months now and it was worth every minute of it; it was worth every sleepless night when he couldn't get her off of his mind and all he could imagine was making love to her.

He reached behind Michelle and slowly pulled down the zipper on the back of her form fitting gown. He eased the gown down over her hips and pushed it to the floor. Michelle stepped out of it to reveal the lacy strapless bra and bikini panties. Jack groaned as he ran his hands down her body. He kneaded her breasts through her bra and leaned down to kiss along its lace edge and into her cleavage.

Michelle put her head back and exhaled softly at his touch. Without hesitation she reached behind her back and opened her bra. She took a step back from him and removed it; dropping it to the floor with her dress. As she moved back toward him, she cupped her hands under her breasts as if offering them to Jack. Jack accepted the offering and took them in his hands, caressing them and rolling her nipples gently between his thumb and forefinger. The desire in his eyes was undeniable.

Michelle reached for his belt buckle. Jack helped her and soon his pants were on the floor on the ever growing pile of clothes. They stood next to the bed kissing for a long time, hands touching and caressing bare skin but somewhat shyly staying above the waist.

Jack finally let his hands drift below Michelle's waist and to the lacy edge of her panties. Michelle groaned into his mouth and he put his hands into the panties and pushed them down her legs. He held her out at arms length and slowly surveyed her naked body.

"Beautiful," he whispered, "so beautiful."

Michelle had spent the last several months so afraid of this moment; so concerned that she wouldn't or couldn't enjoy it. She was terrified that she would be haunted by thoughts of Tony or memories of their love making, but none of that happened. Instead, she was enjoying Jack's touch; she simply couldn't get enough of it. And his body! He was 41 and still had an incredible body. It was lean and tight and his skin was smooth.

Michelle helped Jack finish undressing and they slowly, deliberately got into bed. The sheets were surprisingly cool against their skin and the contrasting temperatures seemed to make the experience more exciting. Jack turned out the light on the nightstand. Now the only light in the room was the thin strip coming in from the gap between the closed curtains. The reflection off the snow provided more light than usual in the middle of the night.

Jack turned over after turning out the light and took Michelle into his arms. They kissed deeply, urgently; their passions rising to a fevered pitch. Their hands traveled over bare skin while curious fingers sought out those places that brought the most pleasure. Their brains quickly catalogued the spots that brought the biggest response. Soon hands and fingers were replaced by hot, wet mouths and tongues. Jack led the way as each of them looked for those sweet spots that turned the other into jelly.

Neither spoke; their moans and their touch were all they needed to express their deepest feelings. After Jack had kissed every inch of her body, Michelle pushed him onto his back and began to do the same. She held him deep in her mouth and caressed him with her tongue.

"Baby," he panted, "You're going to make me come."

Michelle pulled back and flicked him with her tongue. "That's the point," she told him as she stroked him.

"No, not yet," he said. "Come here."

He reached out to her and pulled her on top of him. They kissed with an intensity that was almost painful. Jack put his hands on her hips and lifted them so they were positioned directly above him. Michelle put her knees on either side of his body and knelt in an upright position. She slowly lowered herself onto him. As she did, Jack put his head back and arched his back to try and push himself in deeper. He let out a long, low groan that made Michelle smile. She initiated a slow rhythm. Jack tried desperately to speed it up, but her position allowed her to maintain control and set the pace. She increased the speed a little and watched Jack's face. The ecstasy was unmistakable. He reached out, put his arms around her back and pulled her down against his body. She was still on top of him, but now he had some control. He put his hands on the backs of her thighs and held her tight to him, and then he increased the rhythm. Michelle moaned uncontrollably. Jack couldn't remember ever being this excited, certainly not with Kate or Audrey; maybe with Teri but it was too long ago now to remember clearly. He concentrated on Michelle and willed himself not to climax before she did. He felt Michelle's body tense up and spasm against his and, at the same time, she tightened up around him. That was the end of his self control. He groaned loudly and pushed himself as deep as possible inside of her. He felt as if he exploded.

Jack wasn't sure when they started kissing, but minutes later he found himself holding Michelle's face in his hands and kissing her. They were both panting between kisses trying to get their breath and to process the last few beautiful moments.

Michelle eventually slid off of Jack and curled on her side in his arms. He kissed the top of her head and stroked her body gently. He caressed her face lightly and could feel that her lips were turned up into a smile. He was grateful to feel that smile. He was concerned that she might become emotional. After all, this was her first intimate experience since Tony's death. He remembered his first night with Kate. He lay in bed for hours afterward watching her sleep and comparing her to Teri.

Jack traced Michelle's lips and she kissed his fingers. They lay silently in the dark room listening to each other's heart beat, feeling the regular in and out of their breathing, relishing the warmth of another body. Slowly they each drifted off into a peaceful, exhausted sleep.

_I was criticized in one of my earlier stories for making my love scenes too graphic. I apologize if I offended anyone. If it really was too graphic or not in good taste, let me know, I can certainly edit it. (But be specific, I need to know what should be edited and more than one person is going to have to complain before I edit.)_


	10. Chapter 10

_To all of my reviewers: THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! What else can I say? You have been so supportive even when the story hasn't gone quite the way you would have liked. Some of you have reviewed almost every chapter and I can't tell you how much I appreciate your loyalty. To the new reviewers, thanks for coming on board. The reviews really encourage me to write more. I've also had some reviews lately for my old stories. Thanks to those of you who have gone back and read and reviewed my old stuff. It's nice to know they are still getting some hits and someone is still enjoying them._

_Personal to Amy: I know you would like me to rewrite First Date from the opposite POV. I have tried it and found that I just seemed to be rehashing what had already been said. I'm not ignoring you and when you suggested it I thought it was a great idea. I just can't seem to make it work. Sorry!_

_Anyway, on with the story. _

Chapter 10

Michelle awoke that morning and without even opening her eyes, she knew that Jack was lying next to her. She could sense him, feel the warmth of his body, smell the musky scent of their love. She rolled over and opened her eyes and she wasn't disappointed. Jack lay still sleeping beside her. She looked across him at the clock on the nightstand. It was 10:15. She hadn't expected to sleep this late, but then again, she hadn't expected to be awake until almost 3a.m. making love with Jack.

She smiled as the thought. She made love with Jack. She spent hours last night kissing and touching and becoming one with this man whom she had fallen hopelessly in love with. It was beautiful. The love they made was intense and tender and passionate and kind. She couldn't come up with enough adjectives to adequately describe it.

Jack began to stir. He stretched and slowly opened his eyes and smiled as soon as he saw her. "Good morning," he said as he stroked her face. "Do you always wake up this beautiful?"

"Only on mornings that you're blinded by love," she told him.

He kissed her sweetly. "Oh God, that was good, Honey. And I got the distinct impression that you might have enjoyed it, too."

"Every minute of it," she assured him.

"Good," he whispered playfully. "Want to do it again?"

"Absolutely."

"I'm glad," he said as he kissed her, "because I kind of woke up ready."

Michelle laughed and they began kissing in earnest and Jack climbed on top of her. Michelle loved the feeling of his weight on top of her. Their kisses had become slow and deep when a ringing phone broke their concentration.

"That's mine," Jack said with a sigh as he slid off of Michelle's body. He found his pants in the pile of clothes on the floor and dug the phone from his pocket.

"Don't answer it," Michelle suggested. "They can leave a message."

"Let me see who it is." Jack looked at the caller ID. "It's Kim," he said to Michelle. "Hi, Sweetheart," he said into the phone. "What are you doing calling so early? It's only 7:30 in LA."

"Hi, Daddy. I just wondered if you and Michelle were going to get a flight out of DC today."

"Not today, Honey. Jim Heller is having a party tonight at his house. Michelle and I are flying out tomorrow."

"Dad, haven't you heard any news this morning? DC is expecting 30-36 inches of snow by tomorrow. All of the airports will probably close later today."

"When did you hear that? The last I heard, we were supposed to get a couple of inches. When did the forecast change?"

"Have you looked out your window? The reports that I've seen show 8 -10 inches already on the ground in DC. The storm front that was coming up from the south stalled over the Chesapeake Bay. The meteorologist on the news said that they don't expect it to move out until Christmas Day."

"Are you kidding? I just woke up a couple of minutes ago. I haven't looked outside." Jack got off the bed, pulled on his boxer shorts and walked to the window.

"You just got up? You're usually up by 5:30."

"I know. We had a late night," he said winking at Michelle. He pulled back the curtain and looked out at a snow covered city. "Wow! Where did all of that come from?"

Jack peered out at a veritable winter wonderland. The entire city was blanketed in white. By now Michelle had put on a robe and was standing beside him at the window marveling at the beauty of the scene before her.

"Look, Honey. I'll call you back. I'm going to call the airlines and see if I can get us flights out. I'll talk to you later." Kim said goodbye and they disconnected.

"Do you think we can get a flight?" Michelle asked.

"I'll try. The storm came up from the south. If I can't get a flight out of DC or Baltimore, maybe we could drive north and get a flight out of Philadelphia or Newark. Why don't you get dressed and I'll see what I can find out."

Jack spent the next hour on the phone trying to find a flight to almost any point on the west coast from any airport in a 200 mile radius of Washington and found that it was hopeless. Christmas travel had all of the airlines booked to capacity and the knowledge that the airports would likely close by 5pm had would be travelers scrambling for any available flights. Jack was simply too late. Even flights from airports as far north as New York City were booked. There was no way for them to get to LA by Christmas and Jack wasn't sure how to break that news to Michelle. She was close to her family in LA and he doubted that she had ever spent a Christmas away from them. He hoped that she wasn't too upset.

Michelle stepped from the bathroom looking like she had lived her entire life in the Snow Belt. She had on a tight fitting turtleneck covered by a fleece vest, a pair of straight legged jeans and a rugged looking pair of ankle high boots. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and she had a scarf draped around her neck.

"Any luck?" she asked.

Jack walked over to her and put his hands gently on her upper arms. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart," he said softly. "There are no available flights. I'm really sorry."

Michelle gave him a confused look. "Why are you sorry? It's not your fault that it's snowing."

"I'm sure you'd rather be at home for Christmas than stuck here under a couple of feet of snow."

"Jack, 'home' is a relative term," she said putting her arms around him. "I consider 'home' to be any place where I'm with people I love and right now, 'home' is with you. If I were in LA and you were snowed in here, I'd be miserable. I'm just happy that we're together. Besides, I've never seen a white Christmas before. This is a whole new experience."

Jack smiled and kissed her. "You're something special. Do you know that? I'm going to make sure that you have a Christmas that you'll never forget. Give me a few minutes to get dressed. That will give you time to pack up and we can check out of the hotel."

"Where are we going?"

"To my house."

"Can we drive through this? It looks awful out there."

"We'll do fine. Don't worry. Just get ready to go."

Soon Michelle had checked out of the hotel and the two were on their way. Jack wasn't exactly dressed for the weather. He didn't have a change of clothes, so he put on his shirt and pants and dress shoes from the night before and slipped a wool top coat over it. Michelle put on the quilted jacket that she had bought along with gloves and a pair of earmuffs. Jack was grateful that he had parked his SUV under cover so that they didn't have to dig it out from under nearly a foot of snow that had already fallen.

Jack put his car into four-wheel drive and the two were off. He made his way slowly over the snow covered streets. The main roads near the center of the city were clear, but secondary roads near his house hadn't been plowed yet. They were still several blocks from his house when Jack turned into a shopping center.

"Where are we going?" Michelle asked.

"Well, if you plan to eat, I think we better stop at the grocery store," Jack said as he pulled into a parking space.

"I hope you can cook, because you know I can't"

"It may not be a traditional Christmas dinner, but we won't starve," he told her as he gave her a light kiss. "Come on let's see what we can find."

They made their way through the blowing snow and into the store. Michelle pushed the cart though the almost deserted store while Jack picked out a variety of fruits and vegetables. Next he stopped in the bakery section to pick up bread and cinnamon rolls and a decedent looking cake. Then they moved on to the meat counter. This was a little like shopping with Tony, Michelle thought. She always walked along while he made the choices. The difference, she knew, was that Tony was virtually a gourmet cook while Jack had simply learned out of necessity to cook enough so that he wouldn't starve and he didn't have to eat every meal in a restaurant.

They finished quickly and Jack paid for the purchases and they were again back in the SUV driving through what was turning into a near blizzard. Just a few more blocks and they would be at Jack's house and Michelle couldn't wait. She found driving in the snow nerve wracking. She noticed that Jack didn't seem to mind.

"One more stop and then we'll go home," Jack told her as he made a right turn onto a side street.

"Where else do we need to stop?" Michelle asked.

"On the next street. We need a Christmas tree," he told her. "And there's a guy on the next street that's been selling trees since Thanksgiving. With any luck, he has a few left."

"I thought Christmas trees came out of a box in the attic," Michelle told him.

"Not a chance. This is our first Christmas together. We need a real tree."

Jack pulled up in front of a young man who was trying to warm himself next to a fire he had burning in a barrel. He still had a couple dozen trees under a canopy that he had erected and he apparently planned on selling them before he closed up shop. Wishful thinking, Michelle thought with amusement. We are probably the only people out looking for a Christmas tree today.

Jack opened the driver's side door. "Are you coming?" he asked Michelle.

She rolled her eyes. "I guess so," she sighed as she got out of the car once more.

Jack talked to the man and told him what he was looking for: a Douglas fir about six feet tall. The man showed Jack and Michelle four different trees that filled the bill. As he held up the fourth tree, Jack smiled.

"What do you think? I like that one."

"Your choice," Michelle told him. "I don't know a thing about picking out a Christmas tree."

The man baled it with netting and helped Jack tie it to the top of his car. He got back into the car looking very pleased with himself.

"Now we go home," Jack told Michelle as he put the SUV into gear.

"Jack," Michelle said with a hint of amusement creeping into her voice. "Do you have decorations for a Christmas tree?"

"Sort of," he answered. "Last year Audrey put up a tree for me. So I have a tree stand and lights and a few ornaments. The rest we'll have to improvise."

"Improvise?"

"Yeah, improvise," he said with a smile. "Michelle, my mother was the queen of making something out of nothing. My dad had a decent job, but he usually ended up drinking most of his take home pay. My mother was left to siphon off what she could and make due with it. Christmas tree decorations were never in the budget but I never remember having a tree that wasn't covered with decorations." He smiled wistfully. "Ma was incredible. I wish you could have met her. She would have liked you."

Michelle smiled back at him not quite knowing what to say. His mother had died of breast cancer when he was only seventeen. He left home a year later unable to get along with his alcoholic father. He rarely spoke of either of them. It was obviously too painful.

Fifteen minutes later they pulled up to Jack's brownstone. There was no point in trying to get in the driveway. He would have to shovel before he could do that. So instead he pulled up to the curb. The street really hadn't been plowed, but enough other cars had gone over the snow to pack it down on the street.

Jack smiled when he saw the house. He loved this house from the moment he saw it. It was old and had wonderful character. The ceilings were high and big windows allowed in lots of light. The hard wood floors were shined to a high gloss and the cherry paneling in his study was dark and masculine. He knew that he paid too much for it, but he really didn't care. He was at a point in his life where he could be extravagant if he wanted to. His only child was educated and had a family of her own. He had no one to answer to but himself.

They unpacked the car and made their way to the porch where they stomped their feet to rid them of snow before going inside. Once inside, they put away the groceries and made a quick lunch. Jack changed clothes and the two went outside to begin shoveling.

"Okay, Miss Southern California, this is a snow shovel," Jack said as he handed her a broad, flat shovel.

"Really, Jack? I would have never guessed," she said back sarcastically.

The two went to work clearing the driveway and the sidewalk. They fell silent and worked quickly. The process eventually left Jack at one corner of the short driveway and Michelle at another. Michelle leaned over a scooped up a handful of snow to make a snowball. She spotted a tree not too far away and aimed for it. Michelle had been a softball pitcher in high school and college and her form was good. The snowball hit the trunk of the tree. She repeated the action making sure that her aim remained true. Finally, she scooped up a third handful of snow, but this time she turned to face Jack who currently had his back to her. Smiling a mischievous smile, Michelle called out his name as if in trouble.

"Jack!" she cried.

As she predicted, Jack stood upright and turned quickly. She reared back and aimed the snowball at his chest. The snowball hit its mark and Jack, who was taken fully by surprise, played along.

"Oh, I've been hit," he cried as he staggered a few steps and fell backward into a pile of snow.

"I'll save you," Michelle offered as she ran to him and fell into the snow next to him. "This might require mouth to mouth resuscitation."

Jack pulled her into his arms and kissed her. As he did, he allowed one hand to gather up a good sized snowball. "You're going to pay for that, you know," he told her playfully.

"I kind of had that feeling," she answered as she started to stand up and brush herself off.

With that Jack jumped up and began chasing her with the snowball. Michelle squealed and ran through the snow along the side of Jack's house. As she passed the house and entered the back yard, she was surprised to find a short but rather steep hill. She slipped on the hill and Jack caught her as she fell into the snow. Together they rolled downthe hill. They finally came to a stop at the bottom of the hill covered with snow and laughing until their sides hurt.

Finally able to stand up, Jack helped Michelle to her feet. "Truce?" he asked.

"Truce," Michelle agreed. "Can we go in now? I think I have snow down my pants!"

"That's what you get for savagely attacking me!" Jack told her.

Jack took Michelle's hand and pulled her up the hill. The sun had just sunk below the horizon and darkness was settling over the area. Michelle usually hated the winter months. She hated the long hours of darkness. But winter suddenly didn't seem so dark or so lonely. She liked the serenity of the night and the extreme quiet that came with the snow. At the top of the hill Michelle put her arm around Jack's waist and he did the same. They walked slowly to the house concerned with nothing but their new life together.

"I'm freezing!" Michelle said as she stripped off her coat. She sat down to take off her boots which were only ankle high and were no match for18 inches of snow. "Look at the snow in my boots! My socks are soaked. No wonder I'm so cold."

"I know how to warm you up," Jack said with a playful lilt to his voice.

"Oh really? How do I warm up?"

"Take a hot shower."

"That sounds like a good idea, but, you know, I've never showered at your house before and I might be scared if I'm all by myself," she said dramatically.

"I wouldn't want you to be scared. I could shower with you and protect you."

"Really? That would make me feel so much safer."

They laughed as they ran up the stairs and within minutes they were standing together in a steaming hot shower. They tenderly washed each other's body and hair. And, after much kissing and caressing, dried each other and made their way to Jack's bed. Any shyness or nervousness either of them felt last night was gone now. They both relaxed and enjoyed the love they shared.

"Thank you, Jack," Michelle said softly as they lay together. Their bodies were intertwined under the flannel sheets and warm quilt that covered Jack's bed.

"You don't need to thank me," he told her. "I enjoyed that as much as you did." Jack rubbed the tip of his nose against hers.

Michelle smiled. "I wasn't thanking you for the sex. I was thanking you for bringing me back to life. I've barely existed for as long as I can remember now. Nothing made me happy. I got up each day and went through the motions, but I wasn't really living. Since you came into my life, I'm alive again. I'm happy; I've got a reason to get up every morning. Thank you, Jack for giving me my life back."

Jack smiled at her and then shifted his gaze. He didn't seem to be looking at anything in particular. "When Teri died, I completely lost it. You met me 18 months later and I was still dazed. Then I met Kate and I felt the same way you feel now. I felt like I had something to live for again. It was as if I came to life again, but even then I knew that I wasn't as happy as I had been with Teri. Don't get me wrong, I loved Kate, she's a wonderful person, but it wasn't the same love that I had for Teri. At the time I just assumed that I would never love anyone the way I loved Teri. Now I know that I was wrong. I love you the same way I loved Teri. You light up my world, Michelle; you make the sun rise in the morning. I thank God for you every chance I get."

Tears filled Michelle's eyes and they held each other without talking for a long time. They eventually decided that they were hungry and dragged themselves out of bed to find something to eat. They ended up with grilled cheese sandwiches and French fries and beer. They carried their feast back to bed to eat. Jack dug the remote control out from under his bed and they turned on the television. After much deliberation, they spent the evening watching the movie "White Christmas" and snuggling together.

Jack and Michelle awoke the next morning ready to spend their first Christmas Eve together. Their first order of business after eating breakfast was dressing warmly and going outside to shovel again. Another foot of snow had fallen since they last shoveled to make a total of nearly 30 inches. The snow was expected to taper off over the next few hours. It only took them about an hour to clear Jack's short sidewalk and driveway. After that Michelle decided that they needed to build a snowman. There was certainly plenty of snow to work with so they each started rolling a large snowball to use as part of the body.

Jack rolled the bottom part and helped Michelle to put her snowball on top of it. Soon their snowman had a head. They added short, sturdy branches for arms, a carrot nose, cucumber slice eyes and a mouth made out of black olives. They finished him off with a hat and scarf. Michelle went inside to get Jack's digital camera while Jack asked his neighbor, Eric, to come outside and take a picture of them with the snowman. Eric reluctantly dragged himself from a warm house, but afterward he was glad he did. He and Jack played tennis every week at a local tennis club and Jack frequently joined Eric and his wife Gretchen for dinner, but Eric had never seen Jack as happy as he was that day posing for pictures with Michelle.

Jack and Michelle went back in the house and emailed the pictures to all of their family and friends with the caption "Merry Christmas from Michelle and Jack and our new best friend!"

Now it was time for them to put up their Christmas tree. Michelle found herself feeling just like she did when she was little girl on Christmas Eve. Putting up a Christmas tree should not be making her this excited and the rational part of her mind knew that. But the rational part of her mind was clearly not in control right now. She couldn't suppress the excitement that bubbled through her.

They decided that the tree would look best in front of the bay window in Jack's study. Jack directed Michelle to a closet in a spare bedroom where he was storing the lights and ornaments for the tree. As she came back downstairs with the boxes she could hear and smell popcorn popping in the kitchen.

"Ooh, Jack! How did you know that I was hungry for popcorn?" she queried him.

Jack made a face at her. "This isn't for eating, Honey. Remember when I told you we were going to improvise on the Christmas tree decorations? Well, while I put up the tree and put the lights on it, I thought you could string popcorn and cranberries." He handed her a bowl full of cranberries.

"Can't I eat any of the popcorn?" she asked sounding disappointed.

Jack kissed the tip of her nose. "String this and I'll make more for you to eat." He handed her a needle already threaded with fishing line.

Michelle took the bowls of popcorn and cranberries and went into the study. She plopped into a soft leather chair, set the bowls on the table next to it and went to work stringing the popcorn and cranberries. Jack brought the tree in and set it into the stand. Michelle giggled as he struggled to get it straight but he was eventually satisfied with it. Next he put the lights on it. By late in the afternoon, the tree was covered in tiny white lights, a few dozen ornaments and long strings of popcorn and cranberries.

"What do you think?" Jack asked Michelle.

"I think it's the most beautiful Christmas tree I've ever seen and I think this is the happiest I've been on Christmas Eve in a long time." They stood in front of the tree kissing. "Now," Michelle said as the kiss broke, "you owe me some popcorn!"

They spent the rest of their Christmas Eve snuggled under a blanket on the sofa in front of the Christmas tree. Jack built a fire in the fire place and they drank wine and talked and kissed and listened to hours of Christmas music on the radio. It was near midnight when they turned out the lights and made their way upstairs to bed. They made love quietly and then wished each other a Merry Christmas. Michelle drifted into a peaceful sleep while Jack watched. When he was sure that she was sound asleep, he slipped out of bed and put on a robe and slippers. He padded silently down the stairs. He was going to make sure that Michelle's Christmas was perfect, and to do that, he needed a time to get some things ready.

_Just one more chapter, so I'm hoping that you'll stick with me. _


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The mantle clock in the study was striking 5 o'clock when Jack finally finished his preparations and made his way back upstairs. He walked gingerly into the bedroom making sure to avoid the floorboards that creaked if he stepped on them. He looked down at his beautiful Michelle. She was all curled up as if she was cold. He silently cursed himself for not putting an extra blanket on her when he left the bed. He hated to think that she had been cold. She was a strong woman and he knew that and liked it, but by the same token, she was as delicate as a flower and he wanted to protect her. He stepped out of his slippers, stripped off his robe and got back into bed with her. Michelle stirred as he pressed his body against hers and put his arm around her.

"Jack?" she said sleepily.

"I'm here, Sweetheart," he told her as he kissed her.

"Did you get up for something?"

"I thought I heard a noise downstairs," he lied, "but it must have been the wind. Go back to sleep, Honey."

"Okay," she whispered and without another word she went back to sleep.

Jack smiled. He hadn't slept at all yet and he wasn't even sleepy. This was just like Christmas when he was a little boy. He, like most children, would lay awake all night listening for Santa Claus. Tonight he couldn't wait for morning, not because he wondered what was waiting for him under the Christmas tree, but because he knew what he had put under the tree for Michelle.

When Jack first got out of bed a few hours earlier he headed straight for the kitchen. He had been hatching the plan since he knew that they were stranded in Washington and he had finally perfected it over the last five or six hours. Once in the kitchen, he pulled out his mother's old cookbook. The book was over 50 years old now. She had gotten it as a wedding present and had used it until the pages were dog-eared and faded. Over the years he had gone back and found some of her favorite recipes and had started making them himself. But there was one that he couldn't bring himself to make.

It was a recipe for a raisin and nut roll that Ellen Bauer made every year for Christmas. When Jack was small he would help her knead the dough and then he would sit in the kitchen and wait for it to rise. She would let him mix the raisins and nuts and cinnamon and sugar. They would roll it out together and Jack would sprinkle the nut mixture on top. He would watch anxiously as his mother rolled it up and shaped it into a crescent. After baking she would drizzle it with a light icing. Jack thought it was the most wonderful treat in the world. Most children loved chocolate, but Jack's favorite treat was the Christmas nut roll.

Jack opened the cookbook to the recipe without ever looking at the table on contents; he still remembered the page it was on. He hadn't had that nut roll since his mother died. He had wanted to make it once for Christmas, but couldn't do it. After all those years, the memories attached to it were too strong and too painful. Tonight he pushed aside the pain as he got out the ingredients. He could see his mother as he carefully measured out the flour and the sugar.

Ellen had always made Christmas special for her three sons. She scrimped and saved all year long to make sure that they got something that they really wanted. Jack knew that the other kids at school got a pile of presents for Christmas and he listened to them for the weeks before listing all of the things that they wanted. And, in the back of his mind, he wanted those things, too, but it was pointless to ask. He knew his family couldn't afford them. He didn't resent that; he was pragmatic. It was a fact of life that he just had to live with. He also knew that somehow his mother would figure out what he wanted most and it would be under the tree on Christmas morning. When he was eleven, it was a baseball glove. When he was sixteen and his mother was already suffering with advanced cancer, he found a pair of track shoes waiting for him.

Jack stood in the kitchen kneading the dough as he remembered that Christmas. He was a track star at his high school and the coach wanted all of the track team members to have those shoes. Most of the parents just went out and bought them. Jack was saving money from his after school job to buy the shoes himself; he never even told his parents. He had started dating Teri around the beginning of the school year. She was on the junior varsity cheerleading squad and her pretty legs beneath the short cheerleaders skirt had not gone unnoticed by Jack.

His mother liked Teri, but she had warned him that she thought he was getting a little too serious about her. After all, they were still in high school and, well, Teri came from a different neighborhood. Her family was by no means rich, but they were more than comfortable. Her parents were educated and Ellen suspected that they weren't interested in having their daughter seriously dating the son of an uneducated alcoholic who could barely make ends meet. Jack needed to go to college and make a name for himself before he started thinking seriously about girls from Teri's neighborhood. Ellen also knew that Jack's relationship with Teri had a lot to do with her own illness. He needed someone to feel close to, to bond with. He certainly didn't have that relationship with his father and his older brothers had lives of their own now. Charlie was 26 and married and had two children. Jason was 22 and in the Air Force. They loved their younger brother, but they weren't there for him at the moment. So Ellen, knowing that Jack needed someone to love, turned a bit of a blind eye to the growing relationship.

Teri liked Ellen, too. Ellen was warmer than her own mother; in many ways, Ellen seemed to care more about her. Teri stopped by after school frequently to see Ellen and to help her with tasks that she was beginning to have difficulty completing. One day she happened to mention that Jack was working some overtime to buy the track shoes that the team members were supposed to have. It was near Christmas, a Christmas that Ellen suspected would be her last, and she had no idea of what Jack wanted for Christmas. She asked Teri to find out exactly which shoes Jack needed and how much they cost.

Teri came back a few days later with the information. It was more money than Ellen had to spend on Jack's gift, but she gave it to Teri and asked her to buy the shoes for Jack. On Christmas morning, Ellen proudly gave the perfectly wrapped box to Jack. Tears came to his eyes as he opened them.

"Ma, this is too much!" he told her. "I'm taking them back. You can't afford these."

"Jack, you need those shoes. How can you expect to win the 440 at the state championship this year without the right shoes?"

"Where did you get the money for these, Ma?" he asked her. He had noticed over the last few weeks that she wasn't taking pain medicine as often as she had been but he knew that her pain hadn't lessened any. He was suspicious that she had used the money that Charlie and Jason were giving her to pay for medicine.

"I saved up the extra household money," she said without looking at him.

"Ma, you used the money Charlie and Jay gave you for pain medicine, didn't you?"

"Where I got the money isn't your concern, Jack. I gave you a present. Can't you just say 'thank you' and leave it at that?" Ellen struggled to get out of the chair and went to the oven and checked on the nut roll that was almost finished baking.

Jack came up behind her and put his arms around her. He was crying. "Ma, I love you so much," he told her. He was at the pharmacy the next day when it opened, using his own money, to get a refill of Ellen's pain medication. Four months later Jack won the 440 at the state championships with Ellen looking on. He had been a stride behind the leader, a senior from Santa Clara who was favored to win, with about 20 yards to go. He wasn't sure where the strength came from, but somehow he was able to push himself just a little bit harder, hard enough to break the tape less than half a stride ahead of his stunned opponent. He was so proud when they put the medal around his neck. He ran immediately to Ellen and gave her the medal. Less than a month later she was buried.

As Jack put the dough in a bowl and covered it with a towel to rise, he realized that tears were dripping rapidly down his cheeks. He wiped them away and forced himself to think about something else, to think about Michelle and the special Christmas that awaited them.

While the dough was rising, Jack made a citrus fruit salad and set the table for breakfast so it would be ready when Michelle came downstairs. Next he retrieved the present he had for Michelle. He opened the box and peaked in. He hoped that she liked it. She had seen it in Annapolis when they were there last summer. She had even tried it on and commented on how pretty it was. He called the shop the next day and asked them to hold it for him. He picked it up later in the week and kept it tucked away ever since.

He carefully wrapped the box and put a bow on top. Then he found a much larger box, partially filled it with tissue paper and gently laid the present in the tissue paper nest. He finished filling the box, taped it closed and wrapped it. He finished by putting a large bow on the top and setting it in front of the tree. By now the dough had risen and Jack was able to finish making the nut roll. It would only take about a half hour to bake, so he would do that in the morning.

Now he was back in bed beside Michelle, savoring the warmth of her body against his. This was a dream come true. He was snowed in on Christmas with the person he loved most in the world. He went to sleep wondering if it could possibly get any better than this.

Christmas morning dawned cold and clear. Michelle woke first and decided that Jack should be awake, too. She had no idea that he had been up most of the night. She propped herself up on her elbow and began planting soft kisses on his face. Jack groaned quietly and began returning her kisses. They snuggled beneath the covers.

"I could get used to this," Michelle said.

"You mean being snowed in?" Jack asked.

"No, but that's been fun. I mean I could get used to waking up next to you. I'm going to hate it when I have to wake up alone in LA and you're here."

"This has been nice. Maybe we should start thinking about our long term plans, Sweetheart," Jack suggested.

"Maybe we should, but let's save that for next week when we get back to LA. I don't want to have to talk about anything that serious this morning."

"Okay," Jack said as he kissed her. "Tell you what, I'll run downstairs and start the coffee. Then we can snuggle here where it's warm until the coffee's ready."

Jack got out of bed and went downstairs. He set the oven to preheat and then started on the coffee. By the time he ground the coffee beans and measured the water, the oven was hot enough to put in the nut roll. He set the timer and went back upstairs.

Jack got back into bed and he and Michelle wrapped themselves in each other's arms. Neither wanted to talk; they didn't even want to make love right now. They just wanted to be close. They wanted to enjoy the warmth and the love they felt. They finally decided to get out of bed and go downstairs for coffee.

They put on robes and descended the stairs. As they did, the aroma of coffee and the pastry baking in the oven filled the air. Michelle smiled at Jack.

"What do I smell?" she asked him.

"Coffee," he answered.

"I think I smell more than coffee. What are you baking?" They were in the kitchen now and the smells were overwhelming. "Oh, it smells wonderful, Jack!"

Jack took the coffee pot and began pouring two cups of coffee. "It's just something my mother used to make. I thought you might enjoy it. It'll be finished in a few minutes. Why don't take your coffee in the study? If I'm not mistaken, I heard some noise on the roof during the night. I think Santa Claus might have left something," he said with a mischievous smile.

Michelle took the cup of coffee and walked through the dining room, toward the study. The dining room table was covered with a tablecloth and perfectly set with two place settings. "Jack, when did you find time to do this?"

"While you were sleeping."

"You must have been up all night," she said as she entered the study and saw the large box sitting next to the Christmas tree.

"Not quite all night, but part of it," he said. "Why don't you open your present?"

"I feel guilty," she said. "Your presents are in LA. I thought we'd be there for Christmas."

"Don't feel guilty. Just open your present and enjoy it," Jack told her.

Michelle sat down on the floor next to the tree. She took the wrapping paper off the box and opened it. She found herself digging through layers of tissue paper.

"Gee, Jack, I've always wanted a box of tissue paper!" she teased as she wadded up a handful of tissue paper and threw it at him.

She finally found the second box and as she started to open it, Jack came over and sat next to her. She recognized the name on the box. It was from the upscale jewelry store that they had browsed through in Annapolis last summer. Michelle opened the box and gasped. Inside laid the beautiful diamond and sapphire ring that she had tried on that day. She fell in love with the ring the moment she saw it. It had a large round diamond in the middle surrounded by two slightly smaller deep blue sapphires set in white gold. It sparkled in the sunlight that came through the bay window.

Jack reached into the box and took the ring. Michelle sat staring at him; her hands shaking. He took the box and set it down and then took her left hand in his.

"Michelle, I love you with all of my heart. I'm only happy and complete when we're together. I guess I'm not making myself clear," he said nervously. He cleared his throat softly and looked into her eyes, "Will you marry me?"

Michelle was taken completely by surprise. "Oh, Jack!" she exclaimed as she stared at the ring. "I don't know what to say."

"I was hoping that you'd say 'yes'," he told her.

"Jack, this is so sudden. We've never really talked about marriage."

"What's there to talk about, Michelle? We love each other. We're only happy when we're together. Look how happy we've been for the last few days. Just this morning you said that you could get used to waking up together every morning. This is our chance, Sweetheart."

"There are so many important things we haven't discussed. Where would we live? What about children? You have grandchildren and I haven't even had a chance to have children yet. I can't imagine that you want to start over again."

"The only reason I have grandchildren is because I was so damn young when Kim was born. Teri and I didn't raise Kim as much as we grew up with her. We're lucky she grew up to be such a good person. I'd like to have a second chance at being a father. We can have a house full of kids if that's what you want. As far as where we live is concerned, I've told you before, I don't care where we live. I'll quit my job tomorrow and come to LA with you if that's what you want, Honey."

"I love you, Jack, but I'm not sure that I'm ready for this," she whispered as she took the ring off.

"No," he said as he put it back on her hand. "I don't need an answer right now. Take all the time you want, but if you take the ring off, then you're telling me 'no'. So please, just wear it until you decide."

Michelle couldn't take her eyes off of the ring. All through breakfast she stared at it not sure how she felt. She knew that she loved Jack. It had taken months for her to admit it to herself. She was so happy to be in a loving relationship again that she hadn't really thought it through to the next obvious step: marriage. She wasn't sure why she was hesitating. Jack brought so much joy to her life. She knew that he loved her and would spend a lifetime trying to make her happy. Look what he did for her today. He spent half of the night making breakfast and wrapping a present for her.

Jack sensed the turmoil going on in her mind. "Why don't we get dressed and take a walk in the snow," Jack suggested. "Maybe that will clear your mind."

Michelle agreed. They cleared the dishes and went upstairs to dress. Soon they were wrapped in layers of clothes and ready for the cold. Michelle hadn't brought enough warm clothes so she put on her turtleneck and covered it with one of Jack's wool sweaters. It was a little big, but it would keep her warm.

"Jack," Michelle said as they were getting ready to leave the house, "I'm taking the ring off because I don't want to wear it under my gloves. I just want you to know that I'm not saying 'no' by taking it off." She put the ring back in its box and set it on the coffee table in front of the fireplace.

Jack agreed that that was a good idea. He watched her put the ring on the table. Then she slipped her hands into a warm pair of gloves.

"Ready?" he asked.

Michelle nodded and off they went. It was a perfect day. The air was cold and dry. The sun was brilliant and the snow crunched beneath their feet. They walked up Jack's street and across the next. They could hear the shouts of children playing at a park not far away. As they approached they saw dozens of children apparently trying out sleds they received earlier in the day on the rolling hills at the park. Small children were sledding for the first time with the help of parents on some of the more gentle slopes. Older kids and teenagers were flying down the big hills that led to a skating rink near the middle of the park. The rink was crowded, too. Everyone seemed to be laughing and having a good time.

"That looks like fun," Michelle commented as she watched some teenaged boys sledding down a steep slope. "I've never gone sled riding."

"You've never been sled riding?" Jack asked in disbelief.

"Except for the summer I spent here in Washington during the anthrax attacks, I've lived my entire life in southern California. When would I have gone sled riding?"

"Well, it's time you tried it," Jack said matter of factly. "Hey, Jeremy," he said recognizing one of the boys from down the street, "my girlfriend has never been sled riding. Could she borrow your sled for a run?"

"Hi, Mr. Bauer," the boy said in return, "sure, give it a try." He handed the rope on the front of the sled to her.

"Okay," she said, "what do I do now?"

"Jeremy, maybe you better take a run and show her how to do it."

Jeremy handed the sled to Jack. "Why don't you show her?" he suggested.

"Yeah, Jack," Michelle giggled. "Why don't you show me?"

"You don't think I can do it, do you? Well, just watch." Jack held the sled upright in front of him, ran several steps toward the hill and then fell forward with the sled onto the snow. He sailed down the hill, a cloud of white powder trailing behind him.

The teenagers whooped and cheered. To them Jack was old like their parents and they couldn't imagine their parents sled riding.

Jack dusted himself off at the bottom of the hill and pulled the sled back up. "Your turn, Miss Smarty Pants," he told her.

Michelle took the sled and did exactly as Jack had done. She did almost as well and the teenagers gave her a cheer, too. The boys resumed their sledding making sure to give Jack and Michelle turns. After taking a couple more runs, they thanked the kids and continued on toward the ice rink.

"I bet you've never skated either," Jack said.

"As a matter of fact, you would be right about that. Do you plan to steal skates from some little girl out there so I can learn to skate, too?" she asked in an amused tone.

"No, I thought we would go over and rent skates for both of us and I'll teach you how to skate." Without waiting for a response, Jack started toward the hut near the rink where they sold concessions and rented skates. There was a fire in a big stone fireplace crowded with skaters who were taking a break and trying to get warm.

The next think she knew, Michelle was trying to negotiate the crowded ice rink on thin silver blades. Jack was no expert, but he could at least stay upright and skate forward and backward. He held her hands and led her across the ice. He patiently helped her up a dozen times before she began to get the hang of it. They held hands and skated tentatively along the edge of the rink. Most of the young people cleared the ice when a "couples skate" was announced over the loud speakers. That gave Jack and Michelle more room to skate. Jack stood in front of Michelle. He put one hand behind her back and held her hand with the other. He skated backwards basically pulling her along. At first it took all of her concentration to keep up with him but eventually she felt comfortable and began to relax. She looked deeply in his eyes that shone in the bright sunshine. At that moment she wasn't quite sure but she thought perhaps they were the only two people in the world. "The Skater's Waltz" blared through gravelly speakers and Michelle leaned against Jack who kissed her gently.

They skated for a little more than an hour before deciding that it was time to go home. They returned their skates and bought hot chocolate with marshmallows and walked slowly back to Jack's brownstone.

"I'm glad to be inside," Michelle said as they walked into the house. "I'm freezing."

"I'll build a fire in the fireplace and we can warm up," Jack told her. "Then I'm going to start dinner."

"What's for dinner?" Michelle asked.

"My specialty: chili. I bet you've never had chili for Christmas dinner before."

"No, but it sounds great. Maybe we can start a new tradition."

Jack built a fire and then the two went to the kitchen. Jack was clearly in charge, but Michelle chopped onion and jalapeño peppers and garlic. They finally had it all in the pot simmering.

"This has to simmer for a couple of hours. Let's go in the study and enjoy the fire."

Michelle took a blanket that was on the back of the sofa and spread it on the hardwood floor in front of the fire. "This is nice and warm," she said. "I don't even need a sweater." She stripped off the sweater and pushed up the sleeves on her turtleneck before sitting down on the blanket.

Jack walked into the study carrying a bottle of champagne in one hand and two champagne flutes in the other. "Champagne?" he asked.

"I'd love it," Michelle answered.

Jack poured two glasses and sat down beside her. He held up his glass and Michelle followed suit. "To us," he said, "and to many more white Christmases."

"Here, here," Michelle answered as she touched her glass to his. She raised it to her lips and took a deep drink from it. "Mmm, good champagne. I love it. And I love you, Jack."

Jack set down his glass and leaned forward to kiss her. After a long kiss, he took her glass from her and set it down beside his. Then he gently pushed her down on the blanket.

"It's getting awfully warm in front of this fire," she said seductively.

"I think you'd be more comfortable without the turtleneck," he responded.

"Do you think so?"

"I'm sure of it. Here, let me take it off and you'll see." Jack put his hands under the shirt and lifted it over her head.

"Oh, yes, that's much better," she told him. "Maybe you should take yours off, too."

Jack sat up and took off the pullover sweater he was wearing. "How's that?"

Michelle ran her fingernails lightly up his back making him shudder. "Much better," she told him between kisses. "But I'm still a little too warm."

Jack unbuttoned her pants and started to push them down. "Maybe you'd feel better without these." Michelle helped him take them off. "And these definitely need to come off," he said as he took her socks off.

They kissed passionately and Michelle helped Jack finish undressing. They finally lay naked in front of the fire kissing and caressing. Jack climbed carefully on top of her and penetrated her slowly. Michelle groaned and arched her back. She was a more vocal lover than he had had in the past and he liked it. She wasn't loud, but quiet noises seemed to constantly escape from her throat and it excited him. He covered her mouth with his and increased the rhythm.

Michelle turned her head to the side, panting wildly. "Oh, God! Jack!" she groaned as they both climaxed. They lay unmoving for a long time before Jack withdrew slowly and slid off of her body. Michelle shivered from the loss of Jack's body heat.

"Just lie still," Jack whispered. "I'll get another blanket."

Jack came back a minute or so later with a quilted blanket and pillows from his bed. "I thought this might be more comfortable," he told her as he handed her a pillow and covered her with the blanket. Jack tossed the other pillow next to her and crawled under the blanket with her. He pulled Michelle tightly to him, his front to her back, and put his arm around her. Their fingers entwined lightly. Jack pressed his lips against the nape of her neck. He inhaled the sweet aroma that seemed to emanate from her skin and hair. He felt himself relax against her. And, exhausted from being up much of the night and playing outside and making love in front of the fire, Jack drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

Michelle lay quietly under Jack's protective arm. She liked listening to his slow, steady breathing. Her mind wandered over the events of the day. Every moment of it had been special; from the last passionate half hour, to the quiet moments in the kitchen, to learning to ice skate and sled riding, to Jack's proposal of marriage. She tried to push that last thought to the back of her mind, but found that she couldn't. She wasn't sure why she didn't want to think about it. Jack had been so sweet and she loved him so much.

"Why am I so reluctant to marry him? What am I so afraid of?" she asked herself. "There must be a dozen reasons why Jack and I shouldn't get married," she thought. But hard as she tried, she couldn't think of one. Not a single reason why they shouldn't get married would come into her mind, but all of the reasons that they should marry flooded her brain. Michelle found herself smiling as she gazed into the fire and imagined a life with Jack.

Michelle propped herself up on her elbow carefully so as not to disturb Jack. She reached over to the coffee table to where the engagement ring sat nestled in its box. She opened the box and laid back down looking at the sparkling gems. She put the ring back on her finger and admired it. Her decision was made. They belonged together. This wasn't a whim or a fairy tale desire to live happily ever after, they simply belonged together.

While Jack slept, Michelle started formulating some plans. She knew that she and Jack would have to discuss them at length, but at least she could say that she had thought them out before they discussed them together.

She wanted to live here on the east coast. LA had too many bad memories for both of them. They both had family in LA and that would be the hardest part of leaving for Michelle, but she knew now that she didn't want to spend the rest of her life there. As soon as she got back to work she would put in for a transfer to Langley. If they couldn't accommodate her within a few months, she would resign. There were other jobs for someone with her qualifications. She had often considered teaching math or computer science. Maybe it was time for a whole career change. Working for the CIA wasn't usually conducive to a good family life and she wanted to start her family soon.

A family, she thought. It was a thought that brought a smile to her face. She had wanted children for a long time. She and Tony were going to start trying to have a baby right around the time he was arrested. She had always imagined herself holding babies with light olive skin and dark eyes and hair. Now she saw herself with blond haired, blue eyed babies.

Jack stretched and started to stir. He yawned and opened his eyes. His gaze almost instantly came to rest on the ring on Michelle's hand. He smiled and lifted her hand.

"What's this?" he asked in a bemused tone.

Michelle rolled over and smiled at him. They kissed softly and Jack caressed her face. Michelle sat up pulling the blanket up to cover her. Her features were highlighted in the firelight.

"Here," she said as she took off the engagement ring and handed it to Jack, "ask me that question again."

Jack sat up holding the ring. He took her hand and carefully slipped the ring back onto her finger. "Michelle, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

"It would be a privilege to be your wife, Jack," she told him.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. "What made you change your mind?"

"I didn't really change my mind. I just took some time and thought about it. When I did that, I realized that I couldn't think of a good reason to say 'no' and I could think of lots of good reasons to say 'yes'. So, yes, Jack, I would love to be your wife. I love you."

They fell back onto the blanket kissing and laughing. They spent the night eating chili and drinking champagne and talking about their future. They planned a small, intimate wedding in late March after which Michelle would move to Washington either with or without a job. They would wait until later in the spring or summer to honeymoon.

Jack would stay in his current position until the end of this administration. The president would be up for reelection in November and Jim Heller had told Jack that even if the president was reelected that he planned to resign as Secretary of Defense. He asked Jack to stay with him at least until November and Jack had agreed. After that, Jack was interested in a job that had been offered him by a defense contractor in Maryland. He and Michelle loved Annapolis and could settle down there, hopefully in a house on the water. That would be a great location to raise their family, a family they decided that should include either two or three children. They even started picking out names: Michael Antonio for a son and Jacqueline Theresa for a daughter. They both wanted to honor their late spouses, recognizing that this relationship probably wouldn't be as good as it was had it not been for the losses they had suffered in the past.

They both found that they approached this marriage differently than either of them had approached their first marriage. Not that they took the relationship lightly, but they took life in general less seriously. They knew how precious life was and how it could be taken away without warning; they had experienced it first hand. It took them both time, but they were finally able to put painful pasts behind them and find pure happiness. It was a happiness that neither of them would take for granted, a happiness that they hoped to pass on to their children and their grandchildren and that one day, long into the future, it would live on in their memory.

_Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed. If you haven't reviewed, it means a lot to me to know that you are out there, so please click the submit review button and say hi._

_I've been writing 24 (and mostly T/M) fanfiction for almost a year now and I think I'm a little burnt out. I have a couple of ideas for stories but nothing that is jumping out at me and begging to be written. I might try and develop one of those, or I might just take a break. If I take a break, I hope you guys will still be here when I come back. _

_Thanks for all of your reviews and all of the support you've given me. Hope to get past some writers block and put another story together soon._


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